Not About Me

I have a prayer, Lord. A big one.
It is something only You can do.
I have personally felt how quickly
You are able to turn a life around.
Someone else needs it too.
You know how I feel already.
You know what I want.
But that doesn't mean that
any of this is about me.

Let me be Your hands and feet for him.
Let him see a peace in me
that can only come from You,
while you continue the healing
You've already begun.

Help me to remember
that You are my first love.
If this relationship continues
it is only to bring glory to you.
I can’t do that if I am fearing
every move I make while
dissecting his every breath.
Keep me from messing it all up...
You know I can if left to my own devices.

This is not about me. This is not about me. This is not about me.

Let him see You more and more
wherever he looks.
It doesn’t even have to be me
who lights the path,
just let it be someone.
Let it be soon.

To see the pain break off of him
is a bigger miracle than I can imagine
It seems impossible to have that happen
when what binds him is so big
and the time we have so short.
But what is time to You. Lord?
To watch it disappear,
see him become unbound,
see him become the man you already see… that’s my prayer.

Whether he stays or goes.
Whether he cares or does not.
Whether he someday loves or does not.

Those things don't matter.
I want to pray for them,
but selfish prayers cause anxiety I don't need.

He needs You in a deeper way
than he has ever experienced before.
He needs Your healing touch.
Help him to fall in love.
Help him to fall in love with You.