Tonight

Already I'm hearing "whispers"
telling me I'm making this up
and that anyone who reads this
is just going to roll their eyes.
I know what I felt and saw
but those whispers
from the darkness
want to convince me
that I'm imagining things.

I stood in praise and worship
with my eyes closed and my hands
on the chair in front of me.
As I began to enter into worship,
a picture popped into my mind
       it could have meant something
       it could have meant nothing
I opened my eyes to see the lyrics
on the giant screen above the stage.
Eyes open, I continued singing along
while I thought about the scene.
That's when I felt it
pushing me backwards.
I felt like I was going to fall.
Oddly, it was a familiar feeling
I know that feeling from my days
at an Assemblies of God
but not here, those things don't happen at this church...
Not to say He doesn't show here,
but He comes in much more quietly.

I steadied my feet and
put my hands up in worship.
I kept waiting for someone else to feel
His presence the way I felt it.
Or for the pastor to continue the worship service
instead of starting his message.
I wanted to stay in that place.
But it was over.
What was that really?
I had no way of knowing.
As we sat, I closed my eyes
and thought of the picture
that had popped into my head before.
Immediately I felt the same wave
though much, much softer,
push at me again...
Okay, Lord, I get it.
It was You.

If that is what You want from me, I'll do it.