Big Prayers

God has answered
some big prayers for me,
huge answers that were
obviously only from Him.
Now I'm seeing something
coming in the future
something only He can handle
and I'm afraid...
             afraid to ask Him for it
             afraid to speak it out
             afraid to write it down
because, what if I am wrong?
I've very clearly felt
that this is something
I need to take seriously
but its harder than you think
even KNOWING what He can do.

I was having this conversation with myself
this morning, while driving to church
when someone on the radio hit the nail on the head.

She asked if I pray for things only God can do,
or if I pray for things that I already know
can happen in the natural world.
She suggested that her own hesitation
in praying for things that can only be Him
is her difficulty with giving up control.
Control issues? Me? Surely I don't have...
okay, we all know I have some control issues.

Funny how I overslept,
ran behind this morning,
and turned the radio on
just in time to hear this.
You'd almost think
there is a God up there
listening to me
and using whoever He can
to get His message across
when I'm too absorbed with myself
too hear what He is saying.

Asking God to make the impossible happen
means believing it could happen
and setting myself up for a huge fall if it doesn't.
But if He keeps telling me
to take this matter seriously
and to pray, then I have to believe
He has a plan.

Trust. That's what He wants.
Trust that He thinks we are precious.
Trust that His plans aren't to harm. 
Trust that if He tells me to trust and to pray,
         that's what He wants...
  and that trying to control the situation
                is only going to continue to cause pain and anxiety.

 

But now, this is what the Lord says—
he who created you, Jacob,
he who formed you, Israel:
“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name; you are mine.
2 When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.
3 For I am the Lord your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;
I give Egypt for your ransom,
Cush and Seba in your stead.
4 Since you are precious and honored in my sight,
and because I love you,
I will give people in exchange for you,
nations in exchange for your life.
5 Do not be afraid, for I am with you;
I will bring your children from the east
and gather you from the west.
6 I will say to the north, ‘Give them up!’
and to the south, ‘Do not hold them back.’
Bring my sons from afar
and my daughters from the ends of the earth—
7 everyone who is called by my name,
whom I created for my glory, whom I formed and made.”

Isaiah 43:1-7