Mind-blowing

I see something
in front of me
that I know I want,
something that could be
an answer to more prayers
than I can even count.
But I am not rushing ahead.
I am not making rash decisions.
I am praying.
"God if this isn't
what You want for my life,
let me know
make it clear
take it away.
As much as I want
what I think I might see
I know for sure
that Your way is always
the best way...
even if that means
giving this up
in order to continue
the path you have carved for me."

I once told God
that if His plan included
remaining single forever,
I would probably walk away.
What a selfish, ridiculous
thing to say, right?
It wasn't that long ago.
And while I felt assured
at the time
that singlehood was not
His long-term plan,
I had resigned myself to knowing
it would be a long, long time.
Tonight I find myself saying,
"Please don't let
this possible new relationship
continue to flourish
if it isn't Your will.
Help me see clearly
if I need to end this
or let him do it.
Either way...
I only care that this is your will"

The most mind-blowing part of this prayer, is not that I said it... it is that I meant it. 

(added 1/27/13)
Now I'm thankful
I got the answer I wanted.
When I completely gave
myself to God's will
and His timing
He reminded me
He is listening
and He cares
about the desires of my heart...

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight.  Proverbs 3:5-6

Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.
 Psalm 37:4