Maybe Tomorrow

The God who juggles the planets
and put each star in the sky
still knows the number
of hairs on my head.

The God who breathed life
into the very first human being
knows what I'm thinking and feeling
at this very moment.

The God who planned
the biggest rescue mission
in the history of the universe
and watched His son die for me
still takes the time to remind me he is here
     every
          single
               day.

He is the very same God who knows
I'm sitting on my couch
     feeling sad
          and lonely
               and frustrated
                    and annoyed
because everything doesn't happen
when I want and where I want and how I want...
He sees me in the midst of a completely selfish moment
     and still loves me.

He isn't just putting up with me.
I'm not just sliding into Heaven
by the narrowest margin because
He is a good God who doesn't go back on His word.

He isn't looking at me thinking, "Oh crap, yeah I guess I'll take her too..."

I know that a God who has done for me all of the things He has done... and put up with everything from me that I have put Him through must love me with a deeper love than I can imagine. Sometimes I think that if I could truly wrap my brain around how much love he really has for me, doing the things I don't want to do wouldn't come so easily. If we could understand perfect love, could we ever do anything to hurt the One who has it?

But tonight I wonder if He isn't feeling a little like I do when one of mine gets sent to bed early for having a bad attitude... or doing something I've repeatedly told them not to do.

Do His shoulders sag a little with disappointment, head shaking slightly from side to side as I climb into bed?

I think I hear Him saying, "How much longer is it going to take for you to realize and accept that I do know what is best for you?... Get some sleep. You can try again tomorrow."

and the next day, and the next, and the and