Far from perfect, yet
I still thought I did
everything mostly right.
So it didn't make sense
that it was really over.
When I realized it was,
all I wanted to do was
send a giant F You upwards
to the One who knew
I'd get hurt,
and didn't care
enough to stop it.
It was hard work deciding
to do things differently.
It was hard believing that
I could change and was
a new creation. But I did.
"Doesn't it seem like
you are following
the same old patterns
with this relationship
as you did before?" he said.
"No. This is different.
You are different than
those guys. Our relationship
is not the same as the ones
I had before." I said.
"We're not getting back together.
Nothing that happens now
is going to change anything.
You understand that, right?"
"Yes," I lied, and pulled him to me.
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