Wednesday, December 18, 2013


If I only share the positive, then none of what I write matters.
I am tired, angry, and frustrated at the moment.

I can say it over and over.
Sometimes I even convince myself it’s true.

As long as I have Jesus
I am not alone.

But let’s be real here…
(because if you haven’t noticed
I’m all about being real here…)

I am still alone.

Go ahead and argue with me.
Remind me of every amazing thing
God has done
and is doing
in my life.
I know!
Tell me how much worse
other people have it.
I know that too.

I will tell you that
Monday night I went to a Christmas program by myself.
Tuesday night I went to a funeral alone.
Tonight was another Christmas program.
I have no Christmas decorations up.
I haven’t done one bit of actual shopping.
I can’t wait for my kids to go away for the weekend.
I feel awful for saying that.
It doesn’t make it less true.

Promises are comforting
But they don’t park the car.
And they don’t make the dinner.
And they don’t do the laundry.
And they don’t clean the house.
And they don’t make holiday plans.
And they don’t stand up for you when nobody will listen.
I do all those things, and so much more.

The worst part is knowing
it will be this way
for a very long time.
I don’t like to admit it…
but I know.

Now you’re probably thinking,
 “Hey, isn’t this the girl
who keeps telling us
this life isn’t about her?
It sure sounds like she thinks it is…”

I know that too.

Unfortunately for me, I’m also still human
And as I’ve said before… humanity sucks.

Thank God for mercies that are new every morning.
Praying that tomorrow will be a much better day.
Not banking on it though.

No comments:

Post a Comment