Talking to a friend
who is waiting for his marriage to be restored
and even coming to believe in his vision
has been eye-opening for me.
It took a lot of heartache to get past
the version of love we see in movies
read in books
or hear in country songs.
Heck, I can barely listen to country music
at all anymore...
because it still all reminds me of one person...
the could-have-been fairy tale romance that crashed and burned.
More on that another day, I'm sure.
I've tried every 'version'
of love there is...
except that one that is
patient and not demanding and not self-seeking
(Not that I knew that then... but hindsight is 1080p)
The thought of someone continuing to wait
after months or years
is crazy right?
It doesn't happen.
When it does
it's a "Notebook"-worthy love story...
(that's high praise... seriously)
I've said it many times now...
I've never known someone
who would wait for me
for two weeks,
let alone months or years.
I was driving this weekend
thinking about that...
and said as much to God.
And that's when I realized...
He was waiting for me for almost 34 years.
What a thought. God created me with a purpose... a purpose I can only find in Him. Unfortunately for me, I have never really grasped that concept before this year. I can't say that I have really completely tried before this season of my life. But that didn't matter to Him. He has been watching and waiting... with more patience than I can wrap my mind around.
I have heard Him calling only to turn around and walk the other way, run to Him and been comforted in the hardest times...only to see life improve and go back to living the way I wanted to live.
He was with me all through this...
knowing that this time would come
when what He has done for me would finally mean something
and I would fully devote myself
to His purpose and His plans
no matter what that means for the hopes and dreams I have created for my life up to this point.
It's crazy how the message of the cross can be repeated over and over until those of us who think we understand it begin to take it for granted... and God has to use other things to get to us.
Waiting... in this age where everyone wants everything "now" ... even me ...
I know how hard waiting in so many different areas has been for me for even the last 8 months... and now He reminds me that he patiently waited for 34 years... for me.
And this isn't an infatuation... a crush on some girl he doesn't quite know yet... someone who is going to show her true self eventually and scare him away...
He created me... so I am pretty sure He already knows me.
Every cell of my body
including the number of hairs on my head...
And He still waited.