Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Don't Let Me Call You Sweetheart...

Unless you are a child, you do not want me to call you sweetheart.

Sweetheart is my nice girl way of calling you a dumbass. 'Cause I'm too nice of a girl to call you a dumbass to your face. Dumbass. Oh, sorry, I was on a roll there...

There are some exceptions... I was giving a friend of mine a ride home from church one day and she was walking and talking and started to get into a van that was similar to mine, but wasn't. I said, "Um, sweetheart? My van is over there..." Oops!... and we went on our way. About 15 minutes later she said, "Hey... I just realized you called me a dumbass back there..." and we both laughed hysterically. There are just some friends you can do that with...

Today I got an email from someone I haven't heard from in over a year...

We emailed back and forth a few times, but it was clear what he as looking for. And he kept asking me for a picture... like he possibly couldn't remember who I was... isn't that lovely a thought?

I finally replied... after he didn't get it the first time I told him I wasn't interested and then ignored him for awhile and got two more emails asking me where I went... sometimes you have to spell things out for the younger ones apparently. (BTW, under 30 is too young... under 25... what was I thinking!?!)

Anyway, I sent him this:

"Sweetheart, we both know you are only interested in one thing... and you're not getting it from me."

It was easy.
I was proud of myself.
I can do this!

I wish it was that easy every time.
It's not.


Because she has lived through so many my mistakes... I told my oldest daughter about it. No details... just "A guy I haven't heard from in forever emailed me" and some of the things he said that were "red flags." Then I told her the response I sent him above.

She smiled and put her hand out for a high-five.
I hope she learns from my mistakes and doesn't repeat them.