Monday, March 17, 2014


Praying for others
helps with my anxiety,
reminds me that I'm not
the center of the universe
the way the enemy wants
me to believe I am.

The more I pray for others,
the more I feel him fight me.
The more I pray for others,
      the more distractions I see,
      the more things seem to go wrong
      the more plans change at the last minute
      the more conflict pops up.
The more I pray for others,
the more he tries to inflame my insecurities and anxieties.

Using my humanity against me,
he sways my focus back to myself.
Humans are selfish, it isn't difficult
to get us to turn our focus inward.

As I spend more time in prayer
it has become easier to see it happening.
and I've pushed through to come back,
      pouring over scriptures more diligently
      praying more fiercely
      praising more passionately
than I was before the distraction took place.

A continuously looped playlist
of praise and worship music helps.
Google+ tells me the 35 song playlist
has been played through 40+ times
in just the last few weeks.

But over the last few days,
as pain from a stupid injury
has continuously increased,
making me lose precious sleep,
it has been persistently harder
to keep my focus on anyone else.

I've been to the chiropractor now,
the pain is already improving.
But it wasn't until this afternoon,
when nothing today had gone as planned,
the ugly monster of anxiety overtook me,
and I realized how little time had been spent
in personal prayer and the Word.

So he needed a new technique for distracting me...
Nothing like physical pain to make
a person more inwardly focused.
I have to admit, it was a solid plan.
But I've caught on now.
The enemy won't win this battle either.

May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart
be pleasing to you, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.
Psalm 19:14

So humble yourselves before God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
James 4:7  

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