Tuesday, December 30, 2014


For someone energized by being around people,
a week of being stuck at home sick
proved to be too much for my mind and spirit.
Stomach flu on Christmas Eve Eve, followed by
fever and cough, only a few hours of “well” in between.

By day six, ten minutes without crying was my limit.
"Mind over matter" didn't work. I told the kids to get ready,
we were going out for dinner. Then the sunlight hit my retinas.
There was sneezing and tears, followed by real tears, followed by
a three hour nap after telling the kids, "Eat whatever you want."

We've gone through a lot of cereal this week.

While I know "Greater is He Who is in me,"
Satan is still pretty smart. Smarter than me.
I was weak from all of this, and he knew it, 
calculating the lies I was most likely to believe, 
lying alone there in my room, in the dark. I didn't even fight back.

I did manage to write a guest blog post about how faith
has changed my life. I sent it off feeling like a total fraud,
laying in bed, crying about life. I fought with a few people via text, 
ranted about this and that via IM, even sent off an angry email,
followed by an apology a few hours later.

All because I wasn't fighting back.

I'm feeling 95% better today...
and thinking about how I could have done things differently.
Why didn't I have praise and worship music playing?
Why didn't I stop and pray before I said words I couldn't take back?
Why have I read 127 internet articles this week, but few Bible verses?

Pain and sickness, two of the easiest ways to pull my eyes from Jesus.
In hindsight I see everything I could have done better a little more clearly.
Had I not been so caught up in busyness the week before, that I had
neglected prayer and reading and spending time with Him, it probably
wouldn't have been so far from my mind when I hit this wall this week.

Live and learn? I hope so.I can't believe I was so unprepared.

I still flew off the handle at my kids morning,
not quite as ready for the “normal” as I thought.
Pretty sure that I still owe them a better apology too.
Glad every minute is a chance to make the next right choice
and even failing completely an hour ago, doesn't mean the day is ruined.

Headed to Christmas at Mom's now.
My oldest child is driving while I type.
Looking forward to french toast, bacon and eggs.
Expecting to gain back some of the nearly10lbs I've lost this week... and not care a bit.

Devote yourselves to prayer with an alert mind and a thankful heart.
Colossians 4:2

Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like 
a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.
1 Peter 5:8
Devote yourselves to prayer, keeping alert in it with an attitude of thanksgiving - See more at: http://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/Being-Prepared#sthash.NvO6MOYb.dpuf

1 comment:

  1. I really appreciate your honesty and transparency. I think most people struggle with these same things. I know I do. It is way to easy to distracted by life and forget to stay connected to our Heavenly Father. :)