I thought to myself, "So maybe I'm a volunteeraholic?"
That week alone, between a special conference and volunteering for other things, I had spent over 20 hours at the church. I am there, volunteering, several days a week on a slow week. Several times a month I volunteer at the local food pantry that helped me when I needed it most. I recently volunteered to babysit a friend's newborn foster child while she works her third shift job a couple nights a week. And if a friend asks for help with something, I make sure I do what I can.
But why? I am a single mom with four children and a business to run. I could tell anyone on any given day that I'm too busy to do anything else and they would understand.
The opposite of love is self... selfishness... and we are to love one another. That's what I am doing.. serving people Jesus loves. Giving of myself to help further His Kingdom... right?
I'm also having a lot of fun doing some of it. I truly love working in the sound booth and working with the lighting, media, and video. I hope God is giving me this opportunity for a reason, that I am gaining skills that will be useful to Him in the future. All in all though, regardless of how it works out, I know I am doing it for Him.
It is impossible to ignore, however, the sense of satisfaction I get, the boost in my own self-esteem and self worth that comes from being important to others... I sometimes wonder if these positive aspects of volunteering don't push me to do more than I should.
Why is being appreciated by people so important? I have worth to Him whether I am helping with one more thing or not. While wrestling with this thought lately, God has shown me several times that doing work for Him is a lot easier than resting in Him.
Easier than resting? Resting is easy. Resting equals laziness. While nobody would come right out and say that, internally it is said loud and clear in the silence, the absence of accolades.
Too tired to read the Word, too scattered to pray without making it a "multi-tasking" opportunity, I neglect Him more than I should... and I often do it IN HIS NAME! While God loves it when we nurture our relationship with Him, it is harder to explain to people that the reason behind a "no" is because our relationship with God is suffering. So, we tell Him "no" instead.
Then we continue to push Him farther away by spending so much time doing things for Him instead of just spending time with Him, resting in His presence.
That's the key. Anyone can take a day off. Anyone can turn down duties or quit serving in certain areas. Resting IS easy. Resting in Him isn't.
Yes, my soul, find rest in God;
my hope comes from him.
Truly he is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
My salvation and my honor depend on God;
he is my mighty rock, my refuge.
Trust in him at all times, you people;
pour out your hearts to him,
for God is our refuge.