Tuesday, October 14, 2014


Praying for direction tonight, awaiting some confirmation.
Praying for a quick resolution, but afraid that it won't be the one I hope for.

No heartbreak is worse than one pressed upon you by a close friend.
I've felt a familiar panic tonight as the friend in this scenario holds all the power.

I'm just along for the ride again and it's scary and confusing to me,
waiting to discuss things with them and waiting until they are ready to talk.

I worked so hard to become new and the person who has supported
and cheered me on the most has decided to believe the worst of me.

"Reasons and seasons" I've been told today. Let them go. They've served their purpose.
Considering the state of my heart right now, I could easily fathom it. But it wouldn't be right.

Real friendship means more to me than that, and this was real. I have to do something
Even if that means stepping away until the truth becomes clear, because it will.

Still waiting on direction. Hoping for a conversation.

This quote kept coming to mind tonight, I had to look it up:

"Your patient must demand that all his own utterances are to be taken at their face value and judged simply on the actual words, while at the same time judging all his mother's utterances with the fullest and most oversensitive interpretation of the tone and the context and the suspected intention. She must be encouraged to do the same to him. Hence from every quarrel they can both go away convinced, or very nearly convinced, that they are quite innocent." -Screwtape Letters
We've all done it before. We'll all do it again. The enemy is slick and knows just how to confuse us best. It's not the whole problem, but it played a big part in this one. So many assumptions floating around tonight, still waiting to be worked out, if there is any chance at all. Praying there is.

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those 
who are crushed in spirit. - Psalm 34:18

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