Thursday, August 28, 2014

Starting small

I recently read a book about a man who learned to walk by faith in a way that seemed foolish to those on the outside. Seriously foolish. If your cupboards were almost empty and you had a family to feed, would you turn down a job with a 6-figure income because you knew God wanted you to rely on Him and He had another plan (even though you had no idea what it was)?

Over and over as I read this book, things from the book and things that happened in life both told me that this is something God wanted from me... this kind of faith. There was a reason I was reading this book at this time.

God has already taught me two lessons today... reminding me that I have to leave logic out... that I am not smarter than He is... that He knows what He is doing. Oh, and He's going to have a sense of humor about the whole thing.

Go buy a Bible. A real paper one, not something on your computer or phone.

I asked Him where to go and show me which one I was supposed to buy. Driving to the store, I thought about the Bible I wanted. I knew I didn't want one with devotionals or commentaries. I spend too much of my study time reading about the Word already. I need to read the actual Word.

I thought it would be great if I could find one with plenty of room to write in it as well. I even thought about inventing a Bible with blank pages between each printed page... so I don't lose my notes. Bibles are expensive, but God will provide, right? I had the money from the house I cleaned today in my pocket, and God would figure out how to plug that hole in the budget when the time came.

As I got out of the van I glanced down at the floor and saw a $5 bill. With a quick Heaven-ward 'Thanks!' I stuck it in my purse and joked to myself and God both, "I guess it IS an expensive Bible if I needed more than what I have on me!"

Inside I went straight for the clearance Bibles... no luck there. On the regular shelves I flipped through Book after Book and began to think that maybe I had already misunderstood His instructions. None were what I wanted and I couldn't really imagine spending everything I had on one that wasn't what I though He wanted me to get. With one more glance at all the shelves before I left, I saw a small book on a bottom shelf with a bright sticker on the cover: $2.97. A complete Bible with no commentaries or devotions, but very little white space either. 

How am I going to take notes in this? Should I get a notebook too?

Then He said something that surprised me.  Those notes you are worried about writing are for you. You aren't writing for you. You are writing for Me.

So, despite all I tried to plan out... I ended up with the Book and some candy for less than the $5 bill I had found on the floor of the van, leaving my budget intact. Oh look at that... You DID know what You were doing. Thanks God.

Driving home from the bookstore and thinking about that experience I started thinking about the guy from the book. Then silly me asked a question. So, what is MY version of passing up a 6-figure income with bare cupboards?

And He told me, driving down the road, as clear as if I had read the words on a billboard. Well, lets start with you taking down your eHarmony profile. Yes, I know today starts free communication weekend. Do it anyway.

Ah yes, Lord, You would pick that. I can't really do anything but laugh though. I did ask for it, and He and I have talked about this before. In the end though, I know that if I can't do something as simple as that, this is going to be a very bumpy roller coaster ride.

I have some studying to do now. God bless.


  1. I have thought about the eharmony site many times during the past month since I started blogging. I joined several years ago to do basically what I'm doing here - meeting people. Eharmony didn't last long cause I truly wasn't looking for a relationship but was looking for what I'm finding here - friends. And I have been blessed so deeply thru blogging and the people I've talked . I pray you will be also. God will provide all you need. God bless you!

    1. I have been truly looking for a relationship, wanting a husband, for 11 years now. But I have been going about it all wrong. That fear that God might have it in His plans to make me stay alone forever is terrifying... but I've been trying to do it my own way for a long time... and it's not really worked out well for me. As difficult as it is, I have to believe that His plan is the best, no matter what the outcome is for my marriage status... hard for me to say... even harder for me to practice.

      Welcome and thanks for commenting! I look forward to sharing more with each other in the future!