Sunday, June 1, 2014

Dating with purpose

Have you ever had that moment where something you taught your child came back to you through them, that moment when you are contemplating something and they give you the advice you would give them if the roles were reversed?

A couple of years ago
my now sixteen year old
had a crush on a boy
who was not a Christian.
We began discussing then
how dating should be purposeful.
If you're not going to marry him,
you shouldn't date him either.

I want to get married.
Not now. Someday.
Okay, now would be nice...
but I'm being realistic here.

If you read this blog regularly,
you probably already know that.
When I'm dating someone new though
they may not realize that at first.
A few dates in, the conversation comes up.
"I am on the 'marriage track'.
If you ever think you aren't,
whether it is that you realize
marriage isn't for you, or
you realize marriage to me
isn't for you... I need to know."
There is no real time line
for a ring and a date
But it is important to me
we are both on the same track.

I recently had someone tell me
he doesn't think his current path
involves getting married.
We could continue to date,
but I'd have to be okay with
not moving towards marriage.

I contemplated it a bit
because I like this guy a lot.
I pretty much knew
what the end result would be
if I let things continue...
I'd keep hoping his path would change
only to end up hurt and disappointed
with no one to blame but myself
because I knew all along.
But I mulled it over with a friend
and mentioned it to my daughter.

That's when she asked me,
"If you are a Christian who doesn't plan on getting married what is the point of dating?"

It was a confirmation of
what I already knew I should do
from a source I never expected,
as well as a reminder that
every once in awhile
I manage to teach them something good...

And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. 
Deuteronomy 6:6-9

Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it. 
Proverbs 22:6

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