Sunday, November 3, 2013

Can you hear Me now?

"What's that?
You think I'm ignoring you
that I'm trying to teach you a lesson
with My silence?
You want clear answers?
Did you really tell someone
that you think I'm being a jerk?
Just because I'm not ready
to give you an answer
doesn't mean
I'm not listening.
Just because I'm not
giving you an answer
doesn't mean
I'm not talking to you.
Maybe you aren't listening
Do you need some proof?
Do you need something bigger?
Do you need something clearer?
Here ya' go..."

I am so thankful for a pastor
who will scrap a whole sermon
at the last minute
and go a different direction
because God is telling him to.
I'm sure I'm not the only one
who needed to hear it
but I do know it was for me.

Because that's when I heard
what I needed to hear.
Not the answers I wanted...
but the acknowledgement I needed.
Because while I was asking for
big, clear answers...
neon signs and 2x4's
what I really wanted to know
was that He was really there.
That He is fighting for me.

He is. He is fighting me, for me.

I still didn't get the answers I felt like I needed.

Instead it occurred to me that if He isn't giving me an answer at this very moment, maybe it means that I don't need one. Is it possible that He has some confidence in my decision making skills?
I'm still waiting for some big answers, but I can decide to put one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward without worrying that I'm doing something wrong... as long as I'm keeping my eyes and heart focused on Him... so that I'm ready when the answers do come.

You know, just in case there is no actual flashing neon sign or 2x4s that smack me upside the head...

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