tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-51096623148689575282024-03-18T20:39:57.930-07:00Promise After PromiseBecause His promises are infinitely better than mine.KB Nelsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11154411653310835133noreply@blogger.comBlogger260125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5109662314868957528.post-66843688762899597272023-11-19T15:45:00.000-08:002023-11-19T15:45:31.244-08:00I think I'm okay...<p>I think I'm okay. <br /><br />it has been a year<br />or more since I could say that <br />and really mean it<br /><br />a year of learning<br />counseling, mushrooms, prayer<br />not in that order</p><p>I'm writing again<br />that's the most convincing part<br />that I'm me again</p>I guess I should not<br />say I think I am okay<br /><b>I know that I am.</b><br /><br /><p></p><br />KB Nelsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11154411653310835133noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5109662314868957528.post-35032252386515907292023-11-04T13:25:00.003-07:002023-11-04T13:47:56.173-07:00Timing Matters<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifmeEV-VOk8GVDrCMPyX6fr7yJC3t9Gx_QojAz3hF21o0V-rPRSxlwzEIPlqluE8Bv3tBdW8jN6Oci4BCGV0uxdtsjgh80llygnc5minbzh0ytxoqC7c7xy80K1ipfU68gymd6FK_cGVKZsxE8ELeTokBjkWXdHtalqyBbvwp_uAl7y6hYxhi44YrbPfc/s1280/370290046_1642055896286551_4795183864796903612_n.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="749" data-original-width="1280" height="234" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifmeEV-VOk8GVDrCMPyX6fr7yJC3t9Gx_QojAz3hF21o0V-rPRSxlwzEIPlqluE8Bv3tBdW8jN6Oci4BCGV0uxdtsjgh80llygnc5minbzh0ytxoqC7c7xy80K1ipfU68gymd6FK_cGVKZsxE8ELeTokBjkWXdHtalqyBbvwp_uAl7y6hYxhi44YrbPfc/w400-h234/370290046_1642055896286551_4795183864796903612_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><p>We have been struggling this year. There have been times that we were no more than a few wrong words from divorce. </p><p>We both have a responsibility for that in different ways. But that's for another day, and maybe not even for the blog, ever... we'll have to see. </p><p>Things would get better and worse, better and worse. But the highs and lows both continued to get lower and lower. I finally said, "We're going to counseling." and got us signed up. Our first session was on our 4th anniversary and I wasn't sure by the end of the 45 minutes whether or not we were on the same page with saving it.</p><p>But we started reading the book I mentioned in the last post... Love and Respect by Dr Emerson Eggerichs, and by the end of the first week, things started to seem better. Still, I was nervous. But day by day things started to seem better. I could not only see him trying harder, but I could see him seeing me trying. </p><p>Then we got the news about his job. It could have all fallen apart there. In fact, if it had happened in July or August, I'm pretty sure this would be a very different blog post. <br /><br />I have said in the past that while I do not believe God gives us negative things, I do believe that he lets us deal with the consequences of our choices... especially when we aren't asking for or looking for him to intervene. </p><p>While I'm not thankful we were in such a negative place at all, I am thankful it got so bad that counseling was necessary. Because that's the point where we each individually said, "Hey God, we know you're there. We know you're for us. We know you've got us if we want your help... we've just kinda been doing our own thing, but we might have F'ed it up. Help!" </p><p>The best news is, he was just waiting for us to open the door and let him in. And while I wish we had done it sooner, I am SO THANKFUL we didn't wait any longer. </p><p>We're going to make it. There are plenty of ups and downs to come, but we're going to make it. And while I will work to be respectful about what I share without explicit permission, I can't keep our journey to myself. </p><p>I made promise to God years ago - that if he would keep opening doors and keep making my story better, I would keep sharing it. </p><p>I'm writing again. I'm sharing, excited to see what happens next... thankful to know that when the timing matters, God's still paying attention. <br /></p>KB Nelsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11154411653310835133noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5109662314868957528.post-11075188949684055642023-10-30T15:54:00.004-07:002023-11-13T05:04:09.336-08:00Impactful Books<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiucG1MawK4d9Pvi8h_1RudfO1Co9IZD3RaIcqb0NJzDzBotdVMQ0a6Z-ZOZgoqjBJ-nRlqV3piDP7oDvycptRPZNwi_xYVB6gqaLPLSrKpW32sh35jJeTWJlpI1R2RXmLbgE_9Dz_x6ZZnkiQcmjFoV8rKl2m_yM_IwKzux53Sgj44BAbnGVDkjaMdGkg/s6000/books.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4000" data-original-width="6000" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiucG1MawK4d9Pvi8h_1RudfO1Co9IZD3RaIcqb0NJzDzBotdVMQ0a6Z-ZOZgoqjBJ-nRlqV3piDP7oDvycptRPZNwi_xYVB6gqaLPLSrKpW32sh35jJeTWJlpI1R2RXmLbgE_9Dz_x6ZZnkiQcmjFoV8rKl2m_yM_IwKzux53Sgj44BAbnGVDkjaMdGkg/s320/books.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>As I said, I have read several books over the last year or so that have had a significant impact on me in one way or another. Some of them were written for that purpose, but several are just people sharing their own stories. <p></p><p><b>Here are a few of the most impactful, in no particular order.</b><br /></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><b>Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents - Lindsay C. Gibson<br /></b><br /></li><ul><li>The biggest lesson for me in this one wasn't in the understanding and forgiving of my parents for doing the best they could. It was seeing myself in the pages of this book and talking to my kids and knowing that they already understood I did the best I could and they have forgiven traumas and have a lot of really good memories from childhood. I didn't ruin them.<br /></li></ul></ul><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><b>9 Things You Simply Must Do to Succeed in Love and Life - Henry Cloud<br /></b><br /></li><ul><li>My two favorite lessons from this book were "Play the Movie" and "Don't Play Fair." You'll have to read the book to find out what those mean. It's likely one I'll listen to again in the coming months. As someone grows stronger and more mentally healthy, two things happen to lessons like the ones in this book. 1. You read it and think, "I've got that one down!" and can celebrate a success. Or 2. The lessons take on different and/or deeper meanings than you previously understood. Either way, it will be worth the re-read.<br /> </li></ul></ul><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><b>Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing - Matthew Perry<br /></b><br /></li><ul><li>This book would be on the list even if he hadn't passed away last week. As a long-time fan of Matthew Perry, I was shocked to learn how deep his battle with addiction was. This is one of a couple on this list where I don't remember all the details specifically, but I know this book touched me deeply. <br /> </li></ul></ul><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><b>Spare - Prince Harry<br /></b> <br /></li><ul><li>This was the first time I saw someone publicly discuss how mushrooms had made an impact on their emotional health. He credits them with making a huge impact on his PTSD. It also made me think more critically about what I see in the media when it comes to celebrities. He talked about how things were twisted and leaked to the press about one family member or another in order to draw attention away from something they didn't want talked about. <br /> </li></ul></ul><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><b>I'm Glad My Mom Died - Jeanette McCurdy <br /></b><br /></li><ul><li>I love Jeanette and how raw and honest she is with her fans & readers. Her vulnerability really spoke to me. I don't remember specific "lessons" per se, but I definitely wanted to include it here in this list.<br /> </li></ul></ul><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><b>Internal Family Systems Therapy - Richard C Schwartz <br /></b><br /></li><ul><li>One therapist whose Bio noted she was trained in IFS Therapy looked at me and said, "That's a textbook. It wasn't meant for you to read. It is for counselors." I asked her if she read it. She said no. I then asked her how much she studied on IFS in school and she pulled out her own textbook and told me there were "at least 10 pages on it."<br /><br />I learned more from this book than from any of the 6 therapists I talked to between January and July this year. <br /></li></ul></ul><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><b>How to Keep House While Drowning - KC Davis<br /></b><br /></li><ul><li>When KC came across my TikTok feed, I appreciated her comments to people about how they shouldn't be judging people for how they clean or don't clean and what they can or can not accomplish. Then I saw she wrote a book and I LOVED it. She helps people change perspective on what housework and equal shares of the work should look like. She also has a lot of tips for neuro-divergent people that can help with cleaning... or life in general.<br />I was at one of my lowest points when I found this book and she reminded me to be nice to current self while also being kind to my future self. She also reminded me of some of the lessons I've taught clients over the years, that I had forgotten to apply to myself. <br /></li></ul></ul><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><b>From the Streets to the Suites - Snoop Dog (Only available on Audible.)<br /></b><br /></li><ul><li>I love how he talks about having choices in life and that some of those choices are just dependent on how you live and the words that come out of your mouth. He talks about how he feels he spoke situations into existence, good and bad, just by rapping about them. He also talks about seeing the record label that discovered him headed some dark places and buying it and turning it around for good.<br /></li></ul></ul><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><b>Love and Respect - Dr Emerson Eggerichs<br /></b><br /></li><ul><li>I heard about this book years ago, but when Mike and I were struggling earlier this year, I couldn't quite recall the title. To be honest, I didn't think he'd read it with me so I didn't try too hard to remember. When we started counseling at the beginning of October, it's one of the first things our counselor told us we were going to do... read this book. It's definitely been impactful. <br /></li></ul></ul><p><br />One important thing to remember here is that different books impact people in different ways. Two people can see the same story and have completely different feelings about it. </p><p>A book can't change you on it's own. You have to be open to that change. I definitely believe the Holy Spirit plays a part in that as well... bringing what I need to read to my attention at a time when my spirit is ready to hear it. <br /></p>KB Nelsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11154411653310835133noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5109662314868957528.post-87459615914907332902023-10-29T09:15:00.003-07:002023-10-30T08:56:17.681-07:00A New Journey...<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwYjkQCxFizrpxL5WFWTO2PnH8Eg2sP3vSPGJeriBefUXFs059znYTCOJDvvQNQ7HueOA68_3SAuIXSfFEq8CVu1nHs7kr9Z8Q8Fun7ySY9oheKZcvAJFe6QivLBIAi754wpveFu7SGOkWecsR_YDO0pGFP7VhT_84Wt48sHu5vvBoNgSpB0dXfoE-K2o/s2048/395274859_10163380553762818_2772744666088798931_n.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1398" data-original-width="2048" height="218" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwYjkQCxFizrpxL5WFWTO2PnH8Eg2sP3vSPGJeriBefUXFs059znYTCOJDvvQNQ7HueOA68_3SAuIXSfFEq8CVu1nHs7kr9Z8Q8Fun7ySY9oheKZcvAJFe6QivLBIAi754wpveFu7SGOkWecsR_YDO0pGFP7VhT_84Wt48sHu5vvBoNgSpB0dXfoE-K2o/s320/395274859_10163380553762818_2772744666088798931_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><span class="x193iq5w xeuugli x13faqbe x1vvkbs x1xmvt09 x1lliihq x1s928wv xhkezso x1gmr53x x1cpjm7i x1fgarty x1943h6x xudqn12 x3x7a5m x6prxxf xvq8zen xo1l8bm xzsf02u" dir="auto">I made this post on Facebook last Wednesday: <br /></span><p></p><p><span class="x193iq5w xeuugli x13faqbe x1vvkbs x1xmvt09 x1lliihq x1s928wv xhkezso x1gmr53x x1cpjm7i x1fgarty x1943h6x xudqn12 x3x7a5m x6prxxf xvq8zen xo1l8bm xzsf02u" dir="auto">-----<br />In
February '22 when we bought the office building, Mike was unhappy in
his job... But he had been there a long time and there were good reasons
to stay. </span></p><br />I told a lot of people that my goal was to grow the
businesses enough to work Mike out of his job. I wanted him to be able
to find something he loves doing... whether that's music or something
else. I even told him, "Give me two years."<br /><br />Earlier this year, Pekin Insurance restructured and Mike's position changed a bit and he started liking his job again. <br /><br />I was a little disappointed because I wanted him to do what he loved... but it was stability.<br /><br />Even
though we were sure his job was safe for a number of reasons, including
his high performance numbers and the fact that he'd been there over 15
years, Mike was let go yesterday, along with many other people. <br /><br />It
took a day to sink in, but the timing didn't escape me... with the
severance package he was offered, it will carry us through until
mid-February, 2 years exactly since I made that "Give me two years."
statement. <br /><br />We're hanging out this morning, running an errand for
Harmonize Peoria and talking... and it's so encouraging that now that
it has sunk in, we're both more excited than anything. <br /><br />We don't know what God's plan is, be we are both pretty sure it's going to be cool...<p></p><p><span class="x193iq5w xeuugli x13faqbe x1vvkbs x1xmvt09 x1lliihq x1s928wv xhkezso x1gmr53x x1cpjm7i x1fgarty x1943h6x xudqn12 x3x7a5m x6prxxf xvq8zen xo1l8bm xzsf02u" dir="auto">-----</span></p><p><span class="x193iq5w xeuugli x13faqbe x1vvkbs x1xmvt09 x1lliihq x1s928wv xhkezso x1gmr53x x1cpjm7i x1fgarty x1943h6x xudqn12 x3x7a5m x6prxxf xvq8zen xo1l8bm xzsf02u" dir="auto">It's been five days since he got the call and life is really good right now. It almost seems like a weight has been lifted off of him. </span></p><p><span class="x193iq5w xeuugli x13faqbe x1vvkbs x1xmvt09 x1lliihq x1s928wv xhkezso x1gmr53x x1cpjm7i x1fgarty x1943h6x xudqn12 x3x7a5m x6prxxf xvq8zen xo1l8bm xzsf02u" dir="auto">There's more to share here. This part of the story isn't about being in a good place and getting this news and then still being in a good place. But I need to keep writing. A little every day. </span></p><p><span class="x193iq5w xeuugli x13faqbe x1vvkbs x1xmvt09 x1lliihq x1s928wv xhkezso x1gmr53x x1cpjm7i x1fgarty x1943h6x xudqn12 x3x7a5m x6prxxf xvq8zen xo1l8bm xzsf02u" dir="auto">So I'll share some more tomorrow... <br /></span></p>KB Nelsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11154411653310835133noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5109662314868957528.post-50548694411560182522023-10-25T20:35:00.005-07:002023-10-29T10:25:23.313-07:00Seasons<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHHOYMXxsp6eZ0BFPNdGToOPLvNwo-McPjCNdErQGEZOAADL6rnk6mtC3LG6kyI7fC5s_EjAXGPA05lugCLrQG7LjQknppuRo8iq-QcQbHT1KMzM6prvZ3b5vdstmazkyZA2nWRiRguTd5lOBYFSjvKJfrpgC1JIOEljTmR5HfJgXBVJHvIvO6kx-Nq6Q/s6000/zero-take-LIeAPq4Ldx4-unsplash.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4000" data-original-width="6000" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHHOYMXxsp6eZ0BFPNdGToOPLvNwo-McPjCNdErQGEZOAADL6rnk6mtC3LG6kyI7fC5s_EjAXGPA05lugCLrQG7LjQknppuRo8iq-QcQbHT1KMzM6prvZ3b5vdstmazkyZA2nWRiRguTd5lOBYFSjvKJfrpgC1JIOEljTmR5HfJgXBVJHvIvO6kx-Nq6Q/s320/zero-take-LIeAPq4Ldx4-unsplash.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><b>There are a lot of blog drafts sitting in my blog account here.</b> Most of them are about my struggle with depression over the last year. Many are just a few words long. I wish I could have made myself write them. I just wasn't in the right place. <b>When I'm sad, words are extremely hard.</b> <p></p><p>The hysterectomy of my tumor-riddled uterus (benign) followed by a rough recovery, betrayal by two people I thought were friends (one who actively tried to turn others against me) and one other who I thought was a great employee, as well as a nationwide shortage of my ADHD medication, and regular seasonal blues all ganged up on me at once.</p><p><b>With barely enough strength and interest to keep my businesses afloat, I sat in our recliner day after day for months.</b>.. In a few months time, I watched all 15 seasons of ER - 335 hours. I watched all of The West Wing - 154 hours. I watched countless other shows and movies... because I didn't have the emotional strength to get out of my chair. <br /></p><p>While I absolutely believe counseling can be useful in many situations, counseling alone didn't help me here. <b>I learned more from delving into books on counseling and working on myself while drawing from what I already knew, than from the actual counselors I saw</b>... and I saw several. <br /></p><p>Eventually I read about a supplement that was supposed to help. I started it in April and have been continuing my own positive mental health journey since then... I never would have expected a combination of nootropics and psilocybin to pull me out, but it did and I am so thankful for the information I came across about microdosing and depression. <br /></p><p>I'm writing today for a couple of reasons... </p><p><b>First, I miss writing.</b> I want to try to keep it up. I know it's an important part of who I am and what I am supposed to do with my life. I love encouraging people through writing. <br /></p><p>There have been many 'seasons' for me in the last four years. I am so proud of many of the journeys I've been through. Each one brought change for me, some tiny course corrections and other big leaps of faith and belief. I really wish I had written through them. <br /></p><p>That brings me to the second reason I am writing. I believe <b>we're on the verge of another season, another adventure in faith</b> and I want to be able to look back someday and see it and say, "Look what God did for us." because he always does take care of us. Season after season, promise after promise. <br /></p><p> </p><p> </p><p><br /></p>KB Nelsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11154411653310835133noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5109662314868957528.post-75978436862884728702021-10-02T08:22:00.001-07:002021-10-02T08:22:56.184-07:00Hello from Hawaii<div>I am so blessed. So many things are happening in my life that I couldn't have imagined 10 years ago. <br></div><div><br></div><div>I'm on an 8 day hiking trip with 11 other women right now. Up before dawn because my body swears it's 9am and the sun should be shining. I'm in Hawaii though, 5 hours behind my home time zone. four or five of us have ventured out of bed and are milling around. </div><div><br></div><div>I've done some writing already that I'll work on getting posted at some point, but today I just wanted to share and get something posted.</div><div><br></div><div>Today I will learn how to snorkel, and tonight I will swim with Manta Rays.</div><div><br></div><div>I am so excited to get to know the women who are on this trip with us and to experience so much of the amazing beauty that God has created here.</div><div><br></div><div>Here's the sun setting across from where we had our first dinner last night. </div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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</div><br></div><div>And some of the women in the group at dinner.</div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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</div><br></div><div>Here we drank Kava Tea which is affectionately known as dirt water. Part of Hawaiian culture, it makes your mouth numb and is supposed to be relaxing. I drank all mine, but did not ask for seconds. </div><div><br></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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</div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div>My goal is to write every day on this trip. We'll see how that goes. I miss writing and sharing. I hope to make it an intentional part of this experience. </div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div>KB Nelsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11154411653310835133noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5109662314868957528.post-72678595610960386042021-09-23T14:39:00.002-07:002021-09-23T14:43:10.570-07:00Oops! Where did that year go?<p>"Oh, wow. That was really cool. I should write about that..."<br /><br />It's happened many times over the last year, including many times I don't even remember now. <br /><br />It's funny how knowing you need to do something and putting it off makes that something even bigger than it actually is in your mind... I know nobody has been hanging on the edge of their seats to find out how my life has been going. But every time I think about this blog I think of all the updates I need to make how I don't know how to make that interesting or readable... so I don't post. </p><p>So, here we go... There have been a lot of ups and downs and ups in every area of our lives. I've had a lot of 'a-ha' moments, things I wanted to share. But I hadn't updated anything, and I kept feeling like I needed to do that first. </p><p>Instead of letting this post fall to the wayside like the last ones did, I'm going to tell you that we have paid off almost all of our debts except for a small portion of my student loans and the house. We are still working on both, but the amazing thing is that Mike and I paid off over $95,000 between October 2019 and March 2021. <br /><br />In case that doesn't wow you, let me add that's more than our taxable income was last year and it included over $30,000 that I owed the IRS from when I started my business and didn't know how to do taxes (that's a whole lot of interest.) </p><p>Hey, new business owners, if you have employees find an accountant to take care of your monthly and quarterly taxes or, at the very least, a good payroll program that tells you when to pay who. </p><p>Anyway, I'm really thankful that we made the decision to get out of debt when we did. It's the only way we made it through 2020 better than we started. It would have been so easy to take every stimulus check or business grant and find a way to blow it on something cool instead of getting out of debt. <br /><br />God has been so faithful through all of this as we've turned to him with decisions and without finances. </p><p>Next I'm going to get my businesses re-situated so that my husband can quit his job and work somewhere else part-time while playing music. My goal is to get him out of his job by the end of 2023. Can I do it on my own? Maybe. But, the story will be better if I let God help. It's amazing what His Grace does for us. <br /><br />I have more to share, but that's it for today. 💖</p><p><br /></p>KB Nelsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11154411653310835133noreply@blogger.com0East Peoria, IL, USA40.666149 -89.58009788.3179720975587585 -124.73619759629517 73.014325902441243 -54.423998003704845tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5109662314868957528.post-21802686757018253442020-08-01T15:06:00.001-07:002020-08-01T15:08:18.005-07:00Free mom hugs<div class="separator"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikvzAAseWZe3AbUQO0ep5zRqPN_I983BLa9VeUzSxxyl-Q5iW3clOZlAcpKbIvRl2u3iKNBOTrbzmNMSfFSZZTd3_17C1zhqS48YP05ie9cuaAgQTgy-N3RIllXPyXbjGp0QmxbWmWzZQ/s929/20200730_155413.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="929" data-original-width="681" height="410" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikvzAAseWZe3AbUQO0ep5zRqPN_I983BLa9VeUzSxxyl-Q5iW3clOZlAcpKbIvRl2u3iKNBOTrbzmNMSfFSZZTd3_17C1zhqS48YP05ie9cuaAgQTgy-N3RIllXPyXbjGp0QmxbWmWzZQ/w300-h410/20200730_155413.jpg" width="300" /></a></div><b>My new shirt came in the mail yesterday.</b> <div><br /></div><div>When I originally decided to get one, my plan was to attend a Pride parade and hug some broken-hearted people. The pandemic has put a bit of a damper on that temporarily. We'll see what happens when parades are the norm again. <div><br /></div><div>I can honestly say that I had never thought much about the children, teens, and adults who came out to their families only to be rejected, kicked out, beat up, disowned, and made to feel worthless because of it... until two of my own children made similar announcements within the last year.<br /><br />They have both made their statuses public and made it clear it's not a secret.</div><div><br /></div><div>It wasn't easy to hear either time. I love them both and I love them unconditionally. But like many parents, I had a vision for each of my children's lives... and this wasn't part of my plan. </div></div><div><br /></div>One child spent weeks being angry with me for perceived homophobia before she realized I wasn't "pretending I didn't get her hints," I was, in fact, clueless that she was dropping hints. While she accepted that, I still felt like things were a little strained until we had this conversation via messenger one day in April... <br /><br /><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;">Her: I have a girlfriend.</div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><div><div style="text-align: left;">Me: I figured.</div></div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><div><div style="text-align: left;">Her: Why? What did (sister) tell you?</div></div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><div><div style="text-align: left;">Me: Nothing. I just knew you weren't social distancing, so of course you caught the gay. </div></div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;">Her: 😂😂😂 </div></blockquote><div><br />One of our love languages in my family is a mixture of sarcasm and silly jokes. I felt like that was the moment she understood that I understood. <br /><br />In case you are concerned, this love language works both ways. One of my daughters told me on Mother's Day this year, "You're a good mom, even if you did raise two gays." </div><div><br /></div><div><div>The younger of the two actually came out to me first. She decided she couldn't keep it in any longer, and told me a few days after Mike and I were married that she was interested in girls as well as boys.</div><div><br /></div><div>Not only was I still recovering from the trip, trying to fight through jetlag and new family stress, but I was terrified how my new husband was going to handle it and how it would affect our days-old marriage. Mike and I were both exhausted and grouchy. We pretty much fought our entire first week back from the trip. So while I knew I would stand by her regardless, Mike and I had never talked about this possibility or what he would do.</div><div><br /></div><div>I sobbed. I was mad at her for announcing it right then. I told her she wasn't old enough to make this kind of decision. I probably said a couple of other things I'd not say a second time around. Then I finally told her I loved her but I couldn't handle this right now, and I went to bed. <br /><br />I assumed that would shut down the conversation about it for the night. I was wrong. </div><div><br /></div></div><div>While I couldn't wrap my brain around what she was telling me and what I was supposed to do, my new husband pulled out scriptures and talked to her about what God wants for her life and how, while we don't believe the Bible says this is it, it also doesn't mean God doesn't love her or will turn His back on her. </div><div><br /></div><div>He made sure she knew that her choice to be true to herself wouldn't be without consequences, but Hell was not one of them, and neither was losing the love of her family. He also told her whoever she was dating at any time was always welcome at our home.</div><div><b><br /></b></div><div><b>I love that man so much. </b></div><div><br /></div><div>Over the next few days we talked more and I was able to give her more of the support she needed. I'm thankful she gave me a second chance to get it right.</div><div><br /></div><div>It breaks my heart to know that there are so many in the LBGTQ community who were rejected by their families. It hurts to imagine not being able to get a mom hug, even though she lives not too far away. It's not just unfair. It's cruel. </div><div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">A couple weeks ago I held one of my daughters as she cried through a break-up. The gender of the person who broke her heart didn't matter, even a little bit. She needed a mom hug, and I was there.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifeh3OIvErny8Qhx1Gw0ryHI1pb_omzPBYs9L9LLyt33c7m1w71iTnm5pYLVZnfeCt7rj6uVszpbcxqGFn19nSLlWU6Ou3T47FO2KtcxL3k5mbXmVmnekNpWmWmH5reQvfssA5vxcD-NU/s992/20200730_155250.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="992" data-original-width="558" height="410" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifeh3OIvErny8Qhx1Gw0ryHI1pb_omzPBYs9L9LLyt33c7m1w71iTnm5pYLVZnfeCt7rj6uVszpbcxqGFn19nSLlWU6Ou3T47FO2KtcxL3k5mbXmVmnekNpWmWmH5reQvfssA5vxcD-NU/w230-h410/20200730_155250.jpg" width="230" /></a>So now you know, if you or someone you know needs a mom hug. This is where you find them. </div><div style="text-align: left;"> </div><div style="text-align: left;">FREE MOM HUGS... Free as in, you don't owe me a single thing in return. You don't have to pretend to be someone different. You don't have to have done everything right in your life. You don't have to agree with me on any topic under the sun. You don't have to change yourself for me to love you. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /><br /></div><br /></div>KB Nelsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11154411653310835133noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5109662314868957528.post-9454930159567676932020-07-23T13:55:00.003-07:002020-07-23T14:06:16.321-07:00Debt Mountain Update Month 8ish<b>I really wish I had been better at writing this down every month and updating everyone.</b> After the post where I talked about Mike and I arguing about the debt, we were able to work things out and I feel like he's really been on board with the fact that this is going to take him, me, and God to get this debt taken care of. <br /><div><br /></div><div>While we had made some good progress the first few months, I honestly thought that I was going to have to throw the whole "getting out of debt" plan out the window when the pandemic started affecting us. <br /><br /><b>Hire A Housewife went entire weeks without a single customer.</b> I tried to innovate and offer new products as well as show clients that we cared, but people were concerned about safety, and they had every right to be. <br /><br />Then the CARES Act put some things in place to help... and help they did. Between qualifying for SNAP benefits (meaning we haven't had to buy any groceries out of our pockets this 3 months) and a PPP Loan, temporary unemployment, and a few other things, we've made great strides towards paying down debt. (This is especially true as a self-employed person with student loans... there is a provision in there that was super helpful for us.)<br /><br /><b>Yesterday I made my final credit card payment. </b><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgouEfsPgu-vSBSq4Nt5buky48RqkbPsWeAuc4vF1wRej90JimBY5t1WiYAloBL0Ii8dKQjmsZM9L7mR1ylv6BOi5xUYTyx2IRtO79lizfKLAotqZ85NssQwSdErOnJ8lWn6scD1OL_GLE/s2048/20200723_154554_2.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="I cut them up. Not all of them. But a few. It made a good picture." border="0" data-original-height="1213" data-original-width="2048" height="190" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgouEfsPgu-vSBSq4Nt5buky48RqkbPsWeAuc4vF1wRej90JimBY5t1WiYAloBL0Ii8dKQjmsZM9L7mR1ylv6BOi5xUYTyx2IRtO79lizfKLAotqZ85NssQwSdErOnJ8lWn6scD1OL_GLE/w320-h190/20200723_154554_2.jpg" title="I cut them up. Not all of them. But a few. It made a good picture." width="320" /></a></div><br />That's a photo of some of them all cut up. I mean, I couldn't do ALL of them. I will keep a few for emergencies or car rentals or business expenses that I will then pay off every single month. </div><div><br />I still owe student loans, my car, and the IRS, but we are making headway and it's pretty amazing to see all that has been paid down so far. <br /><br /><b>In fact, in 8 months time, we've decreased the total debt by 48.27% <br /></b><br /><i>Credit card debt alone was over $23,000.</i> Now, considering my NET income last year was less than that, this is a pretty big feat. It involved a lot of working smart in addition to working hard. </div><div><br /></div><div>I was paying over $600 a month in interest last year before I decided this is what I needed to do. But by paying the cards off creatively and systematically, I was able to transfer large portions to 0% interest cards, which facilitated me paying them off that much faster. <br /><br /><b>One important aspect of all of this was saying I DECIDED to get out of debt.</b> If I hadn't put that stake in the ground last year, it would have been very easy to say, "Woohoo! Free money!" and bought some fun things instead of paying down debt. <br /><br />One thing that will change in the future is the total amount of IRS debt I owe. I finally got all the paperwork figured out and sent in, but they are running behind in opening mail at the IRS, so it might be a few months before I know what's going on with that. I'm not worried though. God's got this. And as astronomical as the number the IRS gives me is likely to be, we'll work it out. <br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><b>Whatever goal you have in your life right now, stick with it. The Bible DOES NOT SAY everything happens for a reason... but it does say God can work all things for your good <br />(even when the circumstances seem less than favorable.)</b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><br /></b></div><h4 style="text-align: center;"><i>And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them.<br /></i><i>Romans 8:28</i></h4></div>KB Nelsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11154411653310835133noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5109662314868957528.post-8436992170754600072020-06-06T23:54:00.002-07:002020-06-07T09:24:05.942-07:00Four reasons I didn't say Black Lives Matter & the one reason I do now<div style="text-align: left;"><font size="4">A friend of mine posed an honest question on Facebook. For those who are stuck on "All Lives Matter," why are you still there?<br /><br />I thought giving an honest answer might help others understand how to get the message across as well. Then, when I went back to paste my answer in, the question was gone. So I decided to turn it into a blog post. <br />
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I, of course, believe Black Lives Matter. Always have. I love people, all people.<br />
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However, I only started saying it that way very recently... within the last week or two. It was hard to switch from saying ALL to BLACK... Here's why.<br />
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First of all, I felt pressured into the change. I was told I was a racist for not saying it. And because I know I'm not, I wasn't going to be shamed into changing. </div><div><br /></div><div>Many people who are passionate about this issue are also hateful to those who don't understand. So hateful, we fear asking questions because we know the answers we will get and labels that will be put on us. For many of us, our first response is to cling tighter to what we believe and ignore those who hurt us.<br /></div><br />Second, change and growth often mean admitting you were wrong before. Admitting you might have been wrong is a hard thing for us humans, but so are change and growth... and we know those are desirable. Still, because of the other reasons mentioned here, there was no way I was saying they were right and I was wrong. <br />
<br />Third, it seemed like it was tied to a political party. I felt saying it meant turning my back on my other political beliefs. I was afraid I was accepting an agenda I knew nothing about and didn't understand from a political party that makes no sense to me. </font><font size="4">I wasn't giving up a part of myself that was important to me (the rest of my political beliefs) for a phrase I didn't understand.<br /></font></div><div style="text-align: left;"><font size="4">
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Which is the fourth reason... I really didn't understand. All lives matter feels like the most agenda-less of the two phrases. It felt like a phrase nobody could disagree with in a society where everyone fights about everything all the time. "All lives matter" feels safe.<br /><br /><div>But this last couple weeks everyone has been angry with each other, fighting over every word and action and definition. Quick to accuse and delete and I realized the first thing I needed to do was try to understand.</div><div><br /></div><div>Asking questions was awful. I don't know why people are so mean to someone who WANTS to understand them. Instead, many would rather make me feel bad for not understanding them already. So I saved questions for when I really needed to hear other people's thoughts. The rest of the time I researched on my own. <br /></div><br /><div>When I first read the burning house analogy, it sort of made sense to me.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhU6d3RaOU-nwHN25feaewX7FeZ9A-F362UvVYl3UdWFXytgs7qAiqjOU7obigNuEIu9N3MSZhGRnPSD0MU6SgwmJh4g2N9lu_0ciu5PS3rTSg1g-Bqh_vEx6myt1EZSHaUBigZpAsD__4/" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="210" data-original-width="590" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhU6d3RaOU-nwHN25feaewX7FeZ9A-F362UvVYl3UdWFXytgs7qAiqjOU7obigNuEIu9N3MSZhGRnPSD0MU6SgwmJh4g2N9lu_0ciu5PS3rTSg1g-Bqh_vEx6myt1EZSHaUBigZpAsD__4/s320/101324089_303006424029798_101824560667557888_n.png" width="320" /></a></div><div>I was thinking about that one a little bit. </div><div><br /></div><div>But then I saw this post on Facebook about Jesus leaving the 99 to go after the 1. <br /><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbmEmJbI9TlbLN7m8npNHoIFVB9y6Mb8AeeVIFjLeGrmmkFcexFMAgwktty4cH2TyO3ceHJW4GvEH6lITW5KAXaDdEq_xzxwEWLpo-LAGHRpytSzV9KeGDZUgtPCYsnET1BZl5Io1oU40/" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="976" data-original-width="828" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbmEmJbI9TlbLN7m8npNHoIFVB9y6Mb8AeeVIFjLeGrmmkFcexFMAgwktty4cH2TyO3ceHJW4GvEH6lITW5KAXaDdEq_xzxwEWLpo-LAGHRpytSzV9KeGDZUgtPCYsnET1BZl5Io1oU40/s320/101643924_1093246284394391_8860941994675929088_n.jpg" /></a></div><div><br /></div><div>That's what made it clear. I was able to see it & understand then. And because nobody was yelling at me or looking down their nose being condescending to me, I also was able to realize it wasn't political tied to an agenda. It's about people who are hurting, asking us to acknowledge their value.<br /></div>
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How many times in my life, have I sat at the feet of Jesus, broken, and said, "Tell me You love me, Lord." Imagine if the message He sent back, however He sent it, came across as, "I love all my children." </font></div><div style="text-align: left;"><font size="4"><br /></font></div><div style="text-align: left;"><font size="4">While true, that answer would have crushed me... because I didn't need reassurance about all God's children in that moment. I needed to know that <u><b>I</b></u> was loved. Looking back, I've come to realize that God has NEVER ONE TIME let me leave one of those moments without knowing I was loved. </font></div><font size="4"></font><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><font size="4">
People stuck on the word "all" need realize this is not about politics or agendas or bowing to pressure. </font><font size="4">It's not about whether you have been right or wrong.</font><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><b><font size="4">This is about a group of people crying out in pain saying, </font><font size="4">"Please tell me I matter to you."</font></b><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><font size="4">When that happens, we have to put aside our own fear, politics, agendas, and feelings, </font><font size="4">and tell them, <b>"Yes, you matter to me. Of course you matter to me. I hear your pain and I want you to know, your life matters to me."</b> <br /></font></div><div style="text-align: left;"><font size="4"><u><br />And that's the one reason I say, Black Lives Matter.</u> <br /><br />#BlackLivesMatter<br /><br /><br /></font>
<br /></div>Kindall Nelsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02107880132748044596noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5109662314868957528.post-91163384964067886692020-06-02T12:27:00.002-07:002020-06-02T13:02:32.049-07:00Delete me if<div>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: medium;">Our country is a sad, scary place right now. I could write for hours about all the terrible things happening. But <b>there is something people aren't talking about, and it hurts my heart to see it over and over</b> again in a time when we all need to be coming together. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: medium;">You've seen the posts. Maybe you've written the posts...</span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b>"Delete me if..."</b> </span></span></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: medium;">"If you believe XYZ, delete me." </span></i><i><br /></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: medium;">"If you don't agree with XZY, delete yourself... I don't have time for you." </span></i></div>
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<i></i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"></span><span style="font-size: medium;"></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"></span><br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: medium;">Time and again I've seen it posted this last several days, and it's heartbreaking.</span></div>
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgg42H5_olAqK095NritUY_HEJta85HZSzPUcGTWhsMxM3RxQE_LbBUbJQ3FNYbto1SWFseoQBXj96ZGR2H00S4lB9K788C1SDqfaGigs_34pySUY2iiI367eWRHzon3h0MYdbRMad5kQc/s1600/delete.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="450" data-original-width="800" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgg42H5_olAqK095NritUY_HEJta85HZSzPUcGTWhsMxM3RxQE_LbBUbJQ3FNYbto1SWFseoQBXj96ZGR2H00S4lB9K788C1SDqfaGigs_34pySUY2iiI367eWRHzon3h0MYdbRMad5kQc/s320/delete.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Does deleting them say more about you or them?</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: medium;">Many people feel they are saying, "This belief is so important, I will sacrifice friends for it." and "Your beliefs aren't worth hearing because they are ridiculous." But these people forget it's a two way street. You are also saying, "I don't believe I can make a difference in your life."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: medium;">And maybe you won't. But shouldn't you try, even if trying is just you living your life true to you and they see it and make changes that you never see?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: medium;">Another problem with this... <b>You are helping propagate selection & confirmation bias for both you and the person you want to delete.</b> Everybody believes something that is based almost entirely on the fact that everyone they know believes the same thing. Or, these days, because they read it on Facebook in one of their heavily biased groups. You might be the only voice of reason some of your friends see on a given topic. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I've done it myself. I've posted about subjects I thought I knew inside and out, only to learn new facts from friends who believe differently than I did. I can't imagine how much growth within myself would have been stunted if I only surrounded myself with people who believed the same as I do, (or who never said anything if they didn't.)</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b>If you are ever going to make a difference on a personal level, it has to be done with love.</b> Telling someone to "Delete me if..." is the same as saying, "I don't care about you." and that isn't love. Love is patient and kind and slow to anger. </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Another thing that is often slow... change. Even once it happens the person who is changing may not let on. Growth is hard. And admitting you are growing is even harder because you have to admit that you might have been wrong before. <b>In other words, just because you don't see growth, doesn't mean it isn't happening.</b></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: medium;">Just remember, someone's friendship or impact on your life (or your impact on theirs) is more important than a belief they hold, however strongly either of you feel about it. Imagine if I said, "Delete me if you don't believe Jesus Christ is the son of God and you make fun of people who do." I would lose a lot of amazing people from my life. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b>There are some good reasons to delete or block people from your life at times. </b>If they harass you or cause you problems, or if their beliefs are directly impacting more than your social media timelines, then by all means, quietly delete them and let it go.</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">You don't have to be friends with everyone, and boundaries are good. <b>But when your boundaries are so tight that you can't even turn your head to try to see something from someone else's viewpoint or to see that there is more value to another human being than one belief they hold, then regardless of what it is you don't agree with, there is something wrong with your boundaries.</b></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: medium;">Even Jesus hung out with imperfect people who sometimes said and/or believed stupid things. He didn't cast them away. He walked in grace and gave them the opportunity to learn.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: medium;">Even if you don't agree with any of this, I don't want you to delete me. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: medium;">I want you to know that I love you and value you and your opinions and beliefs, even if they are different from my own. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Maybe that should say <i>especially</i> if they are different from my own. </span><b><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Much of the learning and growing that I have done over the years has come through friends who shared their different perspective and knowledge with me... and I wouldn't trade that for a bunch of people who agreed with everything I said, any day of the week.</span> </b></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i>A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you are also to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b>John 13:34-35</b></span><br />
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<i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Bless those who persecute you; bless and don't curse them.</span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Live in harmony with one another. </span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Do not be haughty, but associate with the humble. </span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Never be wise in your own sight.</span></i><br />
<b><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">~ Romans 12 (Excerpts)</span></b></div>
KB Nelsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11154411653310835133noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5109662314868957528.post-49255155930310946802020-04-21T13:12:00.004-07:002020-04-21T13:12:32.229-07:00What's happening right now...I love to write. I especially love to write things that are uplifting and helpful to people. But nothing has come for a long time.<br />
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Last week I typed this:<br />
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<i>It's okay not to be okay sometimes</i><br />
<i>That's what I keep hearing.</i><br />
<i>It's a sure sign a lot of us aren't okay,</i><br />
<i> when everyone is telling everyone else</i><br />
<i> for the sake of reminding themselves.</i><br />
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It was supposed to be the beginning of something encouraging. But I was struggling, feeling irrelevant and useless. I didn't have anything encouraging to say.<br />
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Over the last couple weeks those feelings could be temporarily pushed aside for the sake of a Zoom meeting, or coming up with another way to try to keep business going in the current state of things, or in those rare moments when I actually was able to help a customer. I could get past them a little at a time.<br />
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There is no doubt I'm an extrovert, a super-shy-often-awkward extrovert, but I love people none-the-less. I need people. Not having people is seriously taking a toll on me.<br />
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My God-given gift of creativity often helps me find ways to fix things. It's why I'm an entrepreneur... because thinking outside the box is what I do. </div>
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The problem is I can't fix anything right now. I'm not even sure what is broken. I don't know whether to fight for our freedoms or tell people to stop being stupid and stay home... and I don't want to debate it because I can debate either side and win. </div>
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Last week the announcement that school was cancelled crushed me, and the tears started. Sometimes I could get them to stop. I'd temporarily lose myself in some binge-worthy show or get involved in a project... but every time someone said school or senior or unfair or anything that made me think of how unfair this all is, they would start up again.<br />
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It didn’t take me long to realize I wasn’t just crying about what my Senior was missing out on... I am grieving the loss of all those last moments
we were going to have before he leaves for college. I am grieving the uncertainty of everything that is coming.<br />
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Watching the governor speak every day at 2:30 feels a lot like watching the news reporters in the weeks after 9/11, talking about what is happening today... and knowing our lives won't ever be the same again in a million tiny ways. Someday we'll watch a TV show and something will seem weird to us and we'll say, "Oh, that was recorded before Covid-19. People used to do that back then." the way we do now when someone meets their love at the airplane gate on an old movie we watch today.<br />
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This is a good time to remind everyone, myself included, that what we focus on grows. It's an undisputable fact... so I will continue to try to focus on the good in the hopes that those positives will outshine my fears, and forgive myself when I can't. </div>
<br />I do still have hope in all of this. Hope that God will use things meant for evil and turn them into something good. I also know that in those moments when my heart is broken over a situation, He's here with me.<br />
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It's not a particularly positive post, but it is real... and some day I will want to look back and remember how I really felt. Maybe I'll share it with my grandkids... because as much as I fear change, I do know life will go on and in spite of possible fears and disappointments, there are a lot of joys left for all of us.<br />
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<i><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #111111; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: "Segoe UI",Arial,Helvetica,Sans-Serif; font-variant: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 1.33em; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. ~ </span><b>Gen 50:20</b></i></div>
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<i><span class="text Ps-34-18" id="en-NIV-14407" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: black; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; position: relative; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">The <span class="small-caps" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span> is close<sup class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-14407A" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-14407A" title="See cross-reference A">A</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></sup> to the brokenhearted<sup class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-14407B" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-14407B" title="See cross-reference B">B</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></sup></span><br style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: black; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;" /><span class="indent-1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: black; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: monospace; line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Ps-34-18" style="box-sizing: border-box; position: relative;">and saves those who are crushed in spirit.</span></span><b> ~ Psalm 34:18</b></i></div>
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<br />KB Nelsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11154411653310835133noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5109662314868957528.post-13646455346136820442020-03-29T11:26:00.000-07:002020-03-29T11:57:44.222-07:00Debt Mountain Update Months 3 & 4<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: black; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">
<b>There's a lot happening that doesn't make sense right now.</b> While I originally thought making the goal of getting out of debt a priority was going to be a great story about what God can do when we trust Him, it turns out, when one of the people resents being part of it, it makes the journey less fun, regardless of how amazing it is. </div>
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<b>Debt numbers do continue to go down... partially through regular payments, partially through jobs and opportunities that I wasn't expecting</b>, partially through my own previous miscalculations (still waiting to find out for sure about that, actually...but it could be a decent chunk that I thought I owed the IRS that I don't.) <b>God has definitely been in this.</b><b><br /></b></div>
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<b><br />For those wondering: As of the 15th of March,<br />we are at 67.5% of our original amount of debt! </b></div>
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Our bills are paid and money goes into Mike's savings. He was given a substantial raise at work and they've put him in for a promotion. We have some work to do, but we're getting by. We are on our way to being comfortable for the first time in my life. </div>
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His resentment doesn't sit well with me. Materially he wants for little. What he does seem to want, is justice: For me to pay for my own stupidity, my crimes, aka: my debt. On my own, without his help... meaning paying half the household bills and utilities at the same time. I already buy most of the groceries, and I feel like he's not taking into account non-monetary ways I'm contributing to the household.</div>
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Handing over money doesn't make sense to me. He too has been blessed during this journey. And because he wants for nothing materially, he basically wants me to give him several hundred a month for his savings account or to blow on things we don't need instead of putting money towards the debts that will affect our future. </div>
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<b>I know that we love each other very much...</b> I believe we're trying to see eye to eye on things. So when something is so big we can't agree, I always say a simple prayer. </div>
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"Change his heart, Lord, or change mine." By doing this, I'm asking God show us what we are supposed to do. We both know without God our marriage wouldn't survive. I do believe we are individually open to hear what God might be showing us. So I ask God to show one of us what we're doing that needs to change. </div>
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<b>And as I'm writing this, angry and hurt about the situation,</b> obviously thinking about what it is going to take for God to change Mike's heart when simple logic isn't going to do it... I'm also listening to the Sunday service online. This is what I heard: </div>
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/vLORKf_msUg/0.jpg" frameborder="0" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/vLORKf_msUg?feature=player_embedded" width="320"></iframe></div>
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(Sorry about the quality. Streaming to screen-recording is even worse than normal.)</div>
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<b>It didn't take much to get the message, even though it required a complete 180 degree turn around for me.</b> Because by asking God to change Mike's heart or change mine, what I'm doing is giving up my own will, knowing that I might not be "right." I was giving God an opening to show me something I wasn't seeing before.</div>
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So, what's the message? <b>I'm married to Mike. I'm committed to Mike. I am FOR Mike. If this is what it takes for him to know I am for him, then that's what I have to do.</b> You know why? Because God is FOR us… and while it makes zero sense to do this on paper, I know that God is bigger than paper. </div>
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<br /></div>
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Apparently it was my heart that needed to change. This debt journey has been about faith from the beginning, but the argument with Mike wasn't about faith. It was about logic and numbers. What he wants to do makes no sense to me, but what I want to do literally hurts his feelings, which means more to me than money.<br />
<b></b><br />
<b>Even taking what feels like a financial hit like this, God can do more, right?</b> </div>
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<br /></div>
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I have to fight the urge to be resentful about this or to let it hurt my feelings. I could make the opposite argument, that he should care more about me and our future together than money. But this doesn't really matter if I want my marriage to work. </div>
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<br />
Regardless of what he actually does with the money, <b>I'm doing what God told me to do... and I know that God is for me... not just me, US. </b></div>
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<b></b><br /></div>
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God is for US, and He's not going to let US down. </div>
<b></b><br />
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="text Rom-8-31" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><b>If God is for us,<sup class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-28148BP" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-28148BP" title="See cross-reference BP">BP</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.62em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></sup> who can be against us?</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="text Rom-8-32" id="en-NIV-28149" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><b>He who did not spare his own Son,<sup class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-28149BR" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-28149BR" title="See cross-reference BR">BR</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.62em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></sup> but gave him up for us all</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>h<span class="text Rom-8-32" id="en-NIV-28149" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">ow will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span class="text Rom-8-32" id="en-NIV-28149" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">Romans 8:31-32</span></b></div>
<b></b><br />
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
KB Nelsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11154411653310835133noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5109662314868957528.post-1336981886598069402020-01-15T12:07:00.001-08:002020-01-15T12:07:11.599-08:00Debt Mountain Update Month 2<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8FRu_kLUiLh83fk7ylHR9uTV5wd1MOjaE19RD8dBRSBKpVArpWGVxxLAv7LXNUdWAT5sAk1LSxcvrzFLV9Py2vRTMG2M65KEZkfHPz_W0QryItOFKKk_W1GFJNWjpNhifILGb8qKN5fc/s1600/debt-mountain.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; clear: right; color: #0066cc; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; orphans: 2; text-align: center; text-decoration: underline; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><img border="0" data-original-height="219" data-original-width="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8FRu_kLUiLh83fk7ylHR9uTV5wd1MOjaE19RD8dBRSBKpVArpWGVxxLAv7LXNUdWAT5sAk1LSxcvrzFLV9Py2vRTMG2M65KEZkfHPz_W0QryItOFKKk_W1GFJNWjpNhifILGb8qKN5fc/s1600/debt-mountain.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Still 17.6% less debt than 2 months ago, but<br />it doesn't quite feel like a 'win'... </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<b>As you can imagine, this last month was a busy one.</b> I've written several partial posts, but nothing I ended up publishing.<br />
<br />
Between Christmas, a graduation, birthdays for 3 of the kids, two mid-week holidays followed by my entire crew calling in the following week for illness or car trouble... this was a rough month for me financially. I stuck to a pretty tight budget for all the kids and family this year, but it was still rough. <b>No big numbers or exclamation points today... just the knowledge that this month was a failure in terms of numbers.</b><br />
<b></b><br />
Month 1: Debts owed down 19.64%<br />
Month 2: Debts owed <b>up</b> 2.06%<br />(% of original amount of debt)<br /><br />I have been able to take a close look at this last month and learn more about our spending and how we can do this better. Or at least how I would like to do this better.<br />
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<br />Part of the problem is that I said I wanted to do this without making Mike suffer the consequences for my debt, but it turns out that if we aren't both working towards the same goal, we aren't going to be able to make any progress.<br /><br />Marriage is hard and we don't see eye to eye on finances. While it was my bad choices that put me in debt, I'm now the one who cringes every time we spend a dollar that I know we don't need to spend. <b><br />Still, his lack mindset and my abundance mindset seem to clash constantly.</b> In in the interest of not fighting, I often pay for things I shouldn't and don't ask him to pay me back for things I should. <span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: black; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"></span></div>
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<b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike><b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike><br /></div>
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I've also spent way too much time taking care of the household instead of my businesses. It makes him happy to come home to a clean house and to have meals cooked a few nights a week and to be able to play his trumpet with whatever band calls him on any given night. I like making him happy, but I've got to work on the businesses more.<br /><br />I knew this would be a process when I started it. I knew there would be ups and downs. If I get my taxes done this week, I'll make great progress again next month. I'm having a hard time seeing how it is all going to be possible... but that has happened before and God has come through. </div>
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<b>Because God knew I would need a little encouragement,</b> I found a couple things when going through paperwork last weekend. One was a copy of the $46,000 surgery bill from the time Lauren's insurance lapsed and it took 5 months to restore. It's a long story but it was a huge miracle when they decided to make it retroactive to the date it was cancelled, covering her surgery in full.</div>
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Second was a letter from the Illinois IRS telling me that they needed more proof of my income before they would send me my 2016 refund of approximately $700. I never followed through on that when I filed and when I called this week they told me that it was still good. I just have to send in some papers.<br /><b><br />I'm looking forward to a better report next month... </b>and hopefully several more blog posts between now and then. There is a lot going on around here besides the quest to be debt free and I look forward to sharing that with you too. </div>
<br />KB Nelsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11154411653310835133noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5109662314868957528.post-68375178754449068892019-12-15T17:39:00.000-08:002019-12-15T17:39:04.198-08:00Debt Mountain Update Month 1
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>This
first month has been HUGE!</b></span></span></span></div>
<h2 class="western" style="font-style: normal; text-align: center; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><br />Our current balance is 80.4% of the
original balance! </b></span></span></span></h2>
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<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-decoration: none; widows: 2;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-size: small;">The
scholarship turned loan turned PAID IN FULL was a huge help with
this. </span></span></span></div>
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<br />
</div>
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<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-size: small;">I
also ran a Small Business Saturday through Cyber Monday sale for Hire
A Housewife and put all <table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSk2KqHUYQO52EgUnkAo79PYmPVtJ173juTGbUuRp-iuzmQ_GUVd9MyC15UejncMH7T8SL4r5jfJx3cRu0II1HqpiXYG6h-atMw-wnTNAfu8f0F7QttuvG3QONIRpe6xqBMTE-wdtu1Xo/s1600/money+tree.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="1480" height="172" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSk2KqHUYQO52EgUnkAo79PYmPVtJ173juTGbUuRp-iuzmQ_GUVd9MyC15UejncMH7T8SL4r5jfJx3cRu0II1HqpiXYG6h-atMw-wnTNAfu8f0F7QttuvG3QONIRpe6xqBMTE-wdtu1Xo/s320/money+tree.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Finding one of these would help, but I'm guessing I should<br />stick to my current plan in the meantime.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
the proceeds towards paying off a credit
card, which will save me hundreds of dollars of interest every
month.<br /><br /><b>One of debts I owe involves the IRS.</b> When I first
started running my own business I paid dutifully whatever the program
said I was supposed to pay. Then, I started getting notices from the
IRS saying "We don't know why you are sending us money."
So, I stopped sending it until I could get it figured it out. Only, I
didn't get it figured out until last year. Now I'm working on
catching up those payments as well. I paid two months of pack taxes
in addition to what was due this month. </span></span></span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0in; widows: 2;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-decoration: none; widows: 2;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-size: small;">Thankfully,
I'm not "in trouble" with them yet. I'm relatively small
potatoes compared to others, I'm sure. <b>I will be fully caught up and
on track before we ever have an issue.</b> Although I acknowledge there
will likely be some interest on some of this that I'm not yet aware
of. </span></span></span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0in; widows: 2;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-decoration: none; widows: 2;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-size: small;">While
I don't expect to know everything in advance, one of the ways I
anticipate God helping us with this debt journey is through
prospering Hire A Housewife. It is doing better now than it has
in awhile, <b>thanks in large part to our newest customer service
specialist who is doing a great job. </b><br /><b><br />I do not expect to
make a dent this big every month.</b>.. I mean, 20% a month means it
would be paid off in five months. But seeing the difference in this
first month has helped encourage me to be mindful of my purchases,
especially as Christmas comes closer. </span></span></span></div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0in; widows: 2;">
<br />
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-decoration: none; widows: 2;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-size: small;">There
have also been some<b> other developments that won't likely have an
effect on the overall balance for a couple of months</b>, but that have
been set off by what I started this month. That credit card that I
paid off? They don't want to lose me as a customer, so they sent me
an offer to transfer balances from my other cards at a 0% interest
rate for 14 months... I'll only need 12, but I'll take it. :-)<br /><br />With
this post I'm over halfway through my "8 posts in one month"
challenge from Toastmasters and I have a week to get in four more to pass this challenge. </span></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
</div>
KB Nelsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11154411653310835133noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5109662314868957528.post-74099532104814043182019-12-13T08:17:00.000-08:002019-12-13T09:07:02.734-08:00Intentionality in depression"<b>You're not on anti-depressants?</b>" the doctor asked.<br />
<br />
"Nope. It's been five or six years. My depression was mostly situational and once I learned how to get my mindset in the right place, I didn't need them anymore."<br />
<br />
He looked at me skeptically. My previous doctor had left town and I had to see this guy before I could get a prescription refill for my Adderall back in September.<br />
<br />
I continued...<br />
<b></b><br />
<b>"I'd actually like to stop the ADHD meds too at some point</b>, but not yet. I'm getting ready to leave for a big trip, then my wedding, and the holidays... there are a lot of things going on right now and I don't want to deal with withdrawals and learning to rebalance myself in the middle of all of that."<br />
<br />
He agreed about it not making changes now, but seemed annoyed that I wanted off medication altogether. "Adderall is perfectly safe for adults. <b>You could be on it another 20 years</b> before I'd start talking about whether it would cause heart problems if you continued taking it."<br />
<br />
(Imagining going through all the hassles I have to go through to get this for 20 more years was enough to make me want to quit right there. It's a fight <i>every month</i> to get the prescription filled!)<br />
<br />
Then he suggested that there were things that would replace Adderall that had different side effects, and <b>he started naming anti-depressants</b> with built in stimulants.<br />
<br />
"No. I don't need anti-depressants." He just nodded and let me go.<br />
<i></i><br />
<i>I understand some people need anti-depressants.</i> I did, when I took them before. My emotions were stuck in a cycle of bad choices resulting in bad feelings which led to more bad choices. I couldn't get myself out. I couldn't choose to walk towards the light because I couldn't see it.<br />
<b></b><br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiI_igBH53AwvB__C-Kub8SV1G3QUAzJskcUEnR_mlJlMvLKCY1OtdJ14GyQPhSvhJi0rSrA0e9Q8LA-6-WTXzdGs27RRPN7sY5rqOyx6PmgjV3ZRJoEX4D34XUN6-iclHO0neJrzPyoSA/s1600/78920741_1463847390439557_5392569823697829888_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="737" data-original-width="1600" height="147" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiI_igBH53AwvB__C-Kub8SV1G3QUAzJskcUEnR_mlJlMvLKCY1OtdJ14GyQPhSvhJi0rSrA0e9Q8LA-6-WTXzdGs27RRPN7sY5rqOyx6PmgjV3ZRJoEX4D34XUN6-iclHO0neJrzPyoSA/s320/78920741_1463847390439557_5392569823697829888_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Taken from cruise ship as we approached Spain.<br />
It's still hard to believe we were actually there!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<b>That's not my life anymore, and I'm proud of that.</b> Some of my early blog posts are clear evidence of the hard work it took to get where I am today!<br />
<br />
Last week though, as I sat on the couch, trying to get paperwork done and staring into space doing nothing, it dawned on me that the heaviness that had settled on me was recognizable.<br />
<br />
In the last three months, I've planned and executed a move, taken my family on an amazing trip through Make-A-Wish, had a wedding and a reception... there has been something going on all the time. I was always under a deadline. Life is starting to calm down. Post-wedding and post-vacation blues are a real thing... add that in to just regular life stuff and it makes sense that everything seems so difficult right now.<br />
<br />
<b>I've been burning the candle at both ends for awhile,</b> and in the process quit exercising, eating well, or really even trying to do those things. I'm tired.<br />
<i><br />Writing this post has been difficult because there is a difference between recognizing depression and actually sitting in it, analyzing it, and reconciling it with who I am now.</i><br />
<br />
God is good. My life is good. Good things are happening! <b>It felt almost wrong for me to admit I was depressed... like I must be doing something wrong.</b> As much as this blog thrives on my authenticity, my brain said, "If you know you are depressed and don't have an answer, then you must be doing something wrong. This is your fault. You can't write about that." <br />
<b></b><br />
<b>The thing is, God didn't say we would always feel happy.</b> He never promised that we would always <br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZaj5DvJdjGz5K9Py2JqtxvnQg0uIE3yzNl2vwVaKj1QB7CciRRPS91xXmeL_DvICQi6NmGmzR8rWtRSNYraWAN2gEefOGXcEIH0jgbuztOCMb3bjckNOLnKVI94S7Czi90C5GUj1LbUw/s1600/80829040_579105116252282_1089272571771224064_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="711" data-original-width="1280" height="177" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZaj5DvJdjGz5K9Py2JqtxvnQg0uIE3yzNl2vwVaKj1QB7CciRRPS91xXmeL_DvICQi6NmGmzR8rWtRSNYraWAN2gEefOGXcEIH0jgbuztOCMb3bjckNOLnKVI94S7Czi90C5GUj1LbUw/s320/80829040_579105116252282_1089272571771224064_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I took this photo from our cruise ship one morning</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
have the energy to get up off the couch and do our work. He didn't even insinuate that it would be my fault if that happiness and energy were missing.<br />
<br />
He did tell me to choose joy. He did tell me to rest in Him. He did tell me that He gives me everything I need to deal with the ups and downs of life.<br />
<br />
<b>My responsibility in this is to live with intentionality.</b> I have to make sure that I am choosing joy when I'd rather sit in misery. When I am feeling too weighed down to move, I have to close my eyes and choose to ask Him for help... strength, energy, whatever it is I need to get through the next moment.<br />
<br />
<b>I don't need to get through the whole day, or the whole week, or the whole month in that moment. </b>There likely will not be a complete emotional turn-around<br />
<br />
or the sudden rush energy, but He gives us what we need to take one more step towards joy, knowing that it will get better.<br />
<br />
<br />
When I started typing this, I didn't know where it was going. It seemed like a long complaint about how I'm feeling. But I know I am supposed to write. So, I intentionally choose to do it, asking God for wisdom along the way. Not for a whole book, not for a whole month of posts, but for the next paragraph... and then the next.<br />
<br />
And while you're reading the end result and (possibly) thinking these were words you needed to read... know that <b>these were words I needed to read today too.</b> <br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
God is cool like that. </div>
<br />
<i>And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, <br /><b>having all that you need</b>, you will abound in every good work.<br />2 Corinthians 9:8 </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
KB Nelsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11154411653310835133noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5109662314868957528.post-48137972465512430082019-12-01T08:42:00.000-08:002019-12-01T09:14:57.872-08:00Recognizing the bad habits<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2e6pTIZxziYkRpGNVBvhdTpygIj0d-3y50Dkl49ZAZM8jOr70jB8q4k11h3Tejh7eiv9XapZocqWaEBvqwTCzYjupqnhSs8cRfKYcX-5NZGVp-tkd1F0CYNxVksvsUvG4qd22PDw4QOw/s1600/wisdom2.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; clear: right; color: #0066cc; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; orphans: 2; text-align: center; text-decoration: underline; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><img border="0" data-original-height="733" data-original-width="403" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2e6pTIZxziYkRpGNVBvhdTpygIj0d-3y50Dkl49ZAZM8jOr70jB8q4k11h3Tejh7eiv9XapZocqWaEBvqwTCzYjupqnhSs8cRfKYcX-5NZGVp-tkd1F0CYNxVksvsUvG4qd22PDw4QOw/s320/wisdom2.JPG" width="175" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">James 1:5-6</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2e6pTIZxziYkRpGNVBvhdTpygIj0d-3y50Dkl49ZAZM8jOr70jB8q4k11h3Tejh7eiv9XapZocqWaEBvqwTCzYjupqnhSs8cRfKYcX-5NZGVp-tkd1F0CYNxVksvsUvG4qd22PDw4QOw/s1600/wisdom2.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a>I'm partially through a one month writing challenge for Toastmasters, so I'll have a few more posts than usual this month.<br /><br />Figuring out how grace plays a role in getting out of debt is tricky. In the big picture I understand it, but I don't want to twist scripture into something that looks good on paper.<br />
<br />
As I go through the steps to get where I need to be, I know everything will come full circle and make sense in the end. It's another part of this journey I'm looking forward to.<br /><br /><b>I've purposely taken stock of my bad habits over the last couple of weeks</b>, thinking a bit about how I built my own debt mountain.<br />
<br />
Of course there are student loans and a car loan and lots of charged business expenses for my main business on top of the debt from two businesses that haven't brought income. (One no longer operating.) But there are also a lot of little things that have added up over time. <br />
<b><br />Fear of over-drafting.</b> I can pull into a gas station, knowing I have $20 to get gas in my checking account, but still use my credit card, "just in case" I need that $20 for something else. Do that three times for the same $20 and even if you haven't used the $20 and can make a payment, you've got $60 on the card to pay off. I will do anything to avoid a $32 overdraft fee from the bank... even pay 27% interest on the charge, apparently.<br />
<br />
<b>Bad planning.</b> I would have called it exhaustion before. It is easy to spend $40 on pizza or $30 on Chick-Fil-A when the kids are hungry and I'm just too tired. But the fact of the matter is, dinner happens every day of the week. There are few instances where kids are hungry and I didn't know that I had to feed anyone at some point that day.<br />
<br />
<b>Subscriptions.</b> A few weeks ago I spent 2 hours turning off every subscription I had... most of them not even being used. Ancestry.com, Audible (I use it, but not fast enough... I had to use 6 paid book credits before I could shut it off!), Spokeo (used for a search for a family member and forgot to shut down), Amazon music, etc... I turned off $75/month of recurring charges for things I didn't even need and rarely used.<br />
<br />
<b>Giving.</b> I know. This one will be difficult. I have a hard time not justifying giving to others with the knowledge that God wants us to be generous and will make up for whatever I give. I may still continue to give as much as I have been, I don't know. This is something I have to consider, at least questioning myself each time.<br />
<br />
I don't doubt other bad habits that will come to light too eventually. I'm taking it one step at a time.<br />
<br />
Some will tell me that I have to work hard to pay off these debts. I got myself into this mess, I should get myself out. Do the work. Make the sacrifices. Many will hear me talk about grace being what gets us out of this mess, and assume that means I am not planning to do anything different.<br />
<b></b><br />
<b>Really, it's a little bit of both.</b><br />
<b></b><br />
It would be easy for me to ask God for a miracle and expect one through grace, all while continuing <br />
my bad habits, or to rely on my husband's income to get me through while I continue paying down debt. But I know that doing those things does not help me learn how to handle money better and won't keep me from making similar mistakes in the future.<br />
<br />
<b>For me, a huge part of my thankfulness to God for helping me get out from under this debt mountain is making sure that I learn from my mistakes so that I don't end up in the same place again</b>. Do I think I could turn things around and then make big mistakes and God would help again? Yes. But I don't want that to be the cycle my life follows. I believe He has better plans for me (and my money!) than that!<br />
<br />
And by taking responsibility for my debt issues and asking for grace each day to help me not use the same bad habits over and over, I'm stretching my faith and bringing myself a step closer to those better plans.<br />
<br />
In the same way, instead of relying on a huge miracle of a windfall to pay everything off, I need to make smart choices that open up the streams of income God uses to take care of and bless my family. I mean, I have two businesses for goodness sake. I definitely have the capacity for an increase in income that will help pay off these debts and give us future stability.<br /><br />But, I'll save that to write about for next time.KB Nelsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11154411653310835133noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5109662314868957528.post-79940350670424868902019-11-21T11:41:00.003-08:002019-11-21T11:41:24.943-08:00Moving Debt Mountain<b>The hardest messes to clean up are the ones we've made ourselves. </b><br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZTt8U1dB4U9Fjh8P4fiwKIB0vIigoHuaC3UlREF9J4wpcpP38tNU_Br-HfnOl83XQljM6gpbUo0JCw9YbgWpMfP5iTNyp6HIsC2lk2zf5BPHSI_q8cHjed0eBJ1JZaq69yUN-DCskeww/s1600/expect.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1507" data-original-width="1468" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZTt8U1dB4U9Fjh8P4fiwKIB0vIigoHuaC3UlREF9J4wpcpP38tNU_Br-HfnOl83XQljM6gpbUo0JCw9YbgWpMfP5iTNyp6HIsC2lk2zf5BPHSI_q8cHjed0eBJ1JZaq69yUN-DCskeww/s200/expect.jpg" width="194" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><div>
I found this while cleaning </div>
<div>
yesterday just before I got the call</div>
<div>
I mention below...</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Combine guilt with worry about the outcome, and add all the work that needs to happen... it's a formula that can be motivation-zapping. Plus, there is often the little voice in the back of your head, "<b>You are just going to do it again... so why work so hard?</b>"<br />
<br />
Time and again God has shown me what HE can do if I just take a step back and stop worrying. And what He does is always just so amazing! But trusting Him for help can be difficult when you are stuck on the thought that "I made this mess, so I have to clean it up."<br />
<br />
Even though I understand grace, it's hard to get through my thick head sometimes that God cares about what I'm dealing with, much less that I can ask him for help with it. When I do though, cool things happen!<br />
<b></b><br />
<b>Now I've got another one to give Him, and this one is huge...</b><br />
<br />
Last week I said to myself, "I've decided to be debt free." and then I didn't tell anyone else.<br />
I just kept it to myself and prayed about what the next steps should be. <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZTt8U1dB4U9Fjh8P4fiwKIB0vIigoHuaC3UlREF9J4wpcpP38tNU_Br-HfnOl83XQljM6gpbUo0JCw9YbgWpMfP5iTNyp6HIsC2lk2zf5BPHSI_q8cHjed0eBJ1JZaq69yUN-DCskeww/s1600/expect.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; clear: right; color: #0066cc; float: right; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; orphans: 2; text-align: center; text-decoration: underline; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZTt8U1dB4U9Fjh8P4fiwKIB0vIigoHuaC3UlREF9J4wpcpP38tNU_Br-HfnOl83XQljM6gpbUo0JCw9YbgWpMfP5iTNyp6HIsC2lk2zf5BPHSI_q8cHjed0eBJ1JZaq69yUN-DCskeww/s1600/expect.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; clear: left; color: #0066cc; float: left; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; orphans: 2; text-align: center; text-decoration: underline; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"></a><br />
<br />
Side note: <b>stop formulating your Dave Ramsey comment in your head right now.</b> He's great... but what I've got going on here is bigger than that. <i>I don't want you to miss the point of what I'm saying. </i><br />
<b></b><br />
<b>I've decided to be debt free by the end of 2020.</b><br />
<br />
<i>If you knew how high the debt mountain is, or how small my shovel is, you wouldn't think it was possible.</i> In fact, you'd be tempted to tell me to stop being illogical. And that's okay. You don't have to believe this will happen. Let me show you.<br />
<br />
But if we're talking about being logical, I have to ask... what kind of silly person asks God to help them with things that are completely humanly possible?<br />
<b></b><br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidzu8i2GFdku4quySdx7Zwh8qpz6mu1Bh5XvWJVwpJFIiFPXQhbVAMB1J8FK38J1b55ZrSN3w4MWW_KU9dlVVNYlTm_ACgW6nkrL85_Y7x-74KCKUOtlDsaEa3zNJ8PXeAp5bzoAKwOrQ/s1600/3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="528" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidzu8i2GFdku4quySdx7Zwh8qpz6mu1Bh5XvWJVwpJFIiFPXQhbVAMB1J8FK38J1b55ZrSN3w4MWW_KU9dlVVNYlTm_ACgW6nkrL85_Y7x-74KCKUOtlDsaEa3zNJ8PXeAp5bzoAKwOrQ/s320/3.jpg" width="176" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Mike & I eating wedding cake. </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<b>Some will assume this might be an easy task these days, now that I'm married.</b> To be honest, my debt has been a point of contention with Mike since we met. It wasn't enough to keep us apart, and I love that he trusts me as much as he does, but I want to be very careful that I continue to contribute to this household in ways that keep those kinds of thoughts from even entering his mind.<br />
<br />
<b>Yes</b>, I will have to cut back and plan ahead more. <b>Yes</b>,<b> </b>the month before Christmas is a hard one to start this. <b>Yes</b>, I will be cutting up most of my credit cards and choosing not to keep a balance on any I do keep.<br />
<br />
<b>No.</b> I don't know how it's going to work out exactly.<b></b><br />
<b></b><br />
Don't worry about me though, I have a plan.<br />
<br />
<b>The plan is... faith.</b> I'm not doing this on my own. And actually, <b>we</b> have a plan. Mike and I are in agreement that if this is going to happen, God has to not only be IN it... but He has to do it.<br />
<br />
God has got our backs and I have no doubt that the story that comes from this will be amazing.<br />
<b></b><br />
<b>Not convinced?</b><br />
<b></b><br />
Let me share with you what happened <b>yesterday</b>...<br />
<br />
<div data-contents="true">
<div data-block="true" data-editor="e4jtl" data-offset-key="470bm-0-0">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="470bm-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="470bm-0-0"><span data-text="true"><b>While at Knox College, I was awarded a Minority Teacher's Scholarship that was to be repaid by teaching for 2 years in a qualifying school. </b></span></span></div>
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="470bm-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="470bm-0-0"><span data-text="true"><b></b><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="470bm-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="470bm-0-0"><span data-text="true">Once I got out of school, I never taught full time and I didn't verify if the schools I taught in were qualifying or not.... I just needed to work.</span></span></div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="e4jtl" data-offset-key="9njbs-0-0">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="9njbs-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="9njbs-0-0"><b></b><br data-text="true" /></span></div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="e4jtl" data-offset-key="13fib-0-0">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="13fib-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="13fib-0-0"><span data-text="true"><b>Then I pretty much forgot about it because... life happened.</b></span></span></div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="e4jtl" data-offset-key="cjatj-0-0">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="cjatj-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="cjatj-0-0"><b></b><br data-text="true" /></span></div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="e4jtl" data-offset-key="3gkl6-0-0">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="3gkl6-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="3gkl6-0-0"><span data-text="true">Sixteen years later that $<u>6500 had turned into over $10,000 including interest</u>. (Think about that before you encourage your children to take out student loans... those can be worse!) </span></span></div>
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="3gkl6-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="3gkl6-0-0"><span data-text="true"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="3gkl6-0-0">
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjU1GgHFT6jNxM3dMzJY2ObkNrIpQvKzGaqnqJLVjNRb_viYttofNgKeLm8JHo85DdFTb8QU84gMN5qBoPvxESx8W5HugrhyphenhyphengB8hA3UqUd-Qm-CZJ-G-colrP20lDiyq1a826mvw9a2bsI/s1600/debtmountain.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; color: #0066cc; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 18.73px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; letter-spacing: normal; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center; text-decoration: underline; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="1280" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjU1GgHFT6jNxM3dMzJY2ObkNrIpQvKzGaqnqJLVjNRb_viYttofNgKeLm8JHo85DdFTb8QU84gMN5qBoPvxESx8W5HugrhyphenhyphengB8hA3UqUd-Qm-CZJ-G-colrP20lDiyq1a826mvw9a2bsI/s320/debtmountain.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I'm telling my debt mountain, It's time to go...</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span data-offset-key="3gkl6-0-0"><span data-text="true">I recently started getting phone calls that began with, "This is an attempt to collect a debt." The Illinois Student Assistance Commission (ISAC) wanted their money.</span></span></div>
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="3gkl6-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="3gkl6-0-0"><span data-text="true"></span></span><br /><span data-offset-key="3gkl6-0-0"><span data-text="true"></span></span></div>
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="3gkl6-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="3gkl6-0-0"><span data-text="true">They said if I could prove I met the terms of the agreement, they may be able to waive some or all of the fees. The problem? I'm terrible at record keeping. And apparently, not all of the schools keep their records this long either. <b>Plus, I was fairly certain that few of the schools were "qualifying"... if any.</b><br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
</div>
<br />One district, who I called repeatedly, informed me that those records are in another building and nobody has time to look for them.<br />
<br />
So, yesterday morning I faxed what I had to ISAC, hoping they'd at least cut it in half and set me up with a payment plan. In the afternoon they called and said it was being marked "paid in full" and I'd receive a letter in the mail. <br />
<br />
They decided to accept and credit me with all the days worked at the one district I sent records from.</span></span></div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="e4jtl" data-offset-key="55pfv-0-0">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="55pfv-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="55pfv-0-0"><b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike><span style="font-size: x-small;"></span><br data-text="true" /></span></div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="e4jtl" data-offset-key="e1it0-0-0">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="e1it0-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="e1it0-0-0"><span data-text="true">Over $10,000 off my debt mountain, just like that!</span></span><br />
<span data-offset-key="e1it0-0-0"><span data-text="true"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="e1it0-0-0">
</div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="e4jtl" data-offset-key="6v17r-0-0">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="6v17r-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="6v17r-0-0"><span data-text="true">Praise the Lord! </span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-block="true" data-editor="e4jtl" data-offset-key="bneq1-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="bneq1-0-0"><br /></span></div>
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-block="true" data-editor="e4jtl" data-offset-key="bneq1-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="bneq1-0-0">And that's when I decided some others might want to join me on this journey</span><span data-offset-key="bneq1-0-0">.</span><br />
<span data-offset-key="bneq1-0-0"><br /></span></div>
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-block="true" data-editor="e4jtl" data-offset-key="bneq1-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="bneq1-0-0">Are you ready? Every month on the 15th I'll share what percentage of the debt is gone... and eventually a number. </span><br />
<span data-offset-key="bneq1-0-0"><br /></span></div>
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-block="true" data-editor="e4jtl" data-offset-key="bneq1-0-0" style="text-align: center;">
<span data-offset-key="bneq1-0-0">Thanks for your prayers and support. </span></div>
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-block="true" data-editor="e4jtl" data-offset-key="bneq1-0-0" style="text-align: center;">
<span data-offset-key="bneq1-0-0"> ❤ </span></div>
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-block="true" data-editor="e4jtl" data-offset-key="bneq1-0-0" style="text-align: center;">
<span data-offset-key="bneq1-0-0">Despite all the parts of this that will be difficult... This is going to be fun.</span></div>
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-block="true" data-editor="e4jtl" data-offset-key="bneq1-0-0" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-block="true" data-editor="e4jtl" data-offset-key="bneq1-0-0" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-block="true" data-editor="e4jtl" data-offset-key="bneq1-0-0" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
</div>
KB Nelsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11154411653310835133noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5109662314868957528.post-41092862076825354482019-11-05T10:16:00.001-08:002019-11-05T10:25:30.081-08:00Experiencing TurbulenceMy tray of food jumped up off of the table connected to the seat back in front of me, and my wine sloshed dangerously close to the edge of my clear plastic cup.<br />
<b></b><br />
<b>Ah, turbulence. I had forgotten it existed, really.</b> <br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4xSoVaY0mvsAzYuhj00hTjukU1q6AtE-yXNErMhnITLw8yXvrP-GHZJksAMfsOcah85T4D0Qa-MH1HI9SK1eof3lqZg0d4R0vClqDmzwZbmLySr7BzN69p4hgoDqfvozntwn81e2Aq6U/s1600/IMG_0239.heic" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4xSoVaY0mvsAzYuhj00hTjukU1q6AtE-yXNErMhnITLw8yXvrP-GHZJksAMfsOcah85T4D0Qa-MH1HI9SK1eof3lqZg0d4R0vClqDmzwZbmLySr7BzN69p4hgoDqfvozntwn81e2Aq6U/s200/IMG_0239.heic" width="150" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;">
Photo taken by Ella<br />
as the sun set while flying.</div>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
We were headed out of the country for the first time ever, on the trip of a lifetime. Lauren's Make-A-Wish trip would start in Rome when we boarded our cruise ship in a few hours, and take us through several cities between Italy, France, and Spain... ending again in Rome, seven days later. <br />
<br />
We extended our trip by one day so that Mike and I could get married while we were there. <b>It was going to be amazing, more fantastic experiences than I could have ever imagined that I would get to do with my family</b> in my entire lifetime, much less over the course of 9 days!<br />
<br />
My food jumped again and this time some wine did spill. <br />
<br />
Deep breath in. Deep breath out. It would be fine. <br />
<br />
Then came what felt like a 100 foot loss in altitude... although it was probably only 5. It was enough. Passengers screamed and everyone scrambled. Just about everyone was trying to figure out the best way to keep their drinks from pouring all over their food, clothes, and each other. Others tried to comfort those around them. <br />
<br />
One elderly gentleman took off his seat belt and stood up. I'm sure because he or his wife had spilled on themselves. <b>A flight attendant yelled from her seat in the back in an “angry mom voice,” “Sir! Sit down right now!”</b> <br />
<br />
He complied immediately.<br />
<br />
One young woman held her cup out over the aisle, trying to anticipate the drops and keep as much wine in her glass as possible. I set mine inside my tray for a brief moment and then decided before any more of it was spilled on my pants, I should drink it. So I did. All of it. <br />
<b></b><br />
<b>I'd like to say it helped, but it didn't.</b> My children were 11 rows ahead of me, separated from my line of sight by a wall. Fear began creeping into my mind and taking over.<br />
<b></b><br />
<b>I started to cry.</b><br />
<b></b><br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQdgudMCriP7Rec28sJYzT8WEnFnHzypzP4EifWoVp079MHfW4ntwQbXswtxYu18izZ2hxGLRJreN9Vw93Ea9LnLNAf40M_OWGdymPtAzbKj0DmAvzvtrWi1POEkg2RjcreezwCxoin1I/s1600/1001191916a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1039" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQdgudMCriP7Rec28sJYzT8WEnFnHzypzP4EifWoVp079MHfW4ntwQbXswtxYu18izZ2hxGLRJreN9Vw93Ea9LnLNAf40M_OWGdymPtAzbKj0DmAvzvtrWi1POEkg2RjcreezwCxoin1I/s200/1001191916a.jpg" width="129" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Mike & I before take-off.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Mike grabbed my hand and told me it was going to be okay. I nodded, but the tears didn't stop. I've experience major turbulence once before, on a trip to LA to visit my brother. There were no tears then. <b>I tried to recall what was different</b>, but in that moment, all I could think about was that my children were on the plane with me, and that I couldn't get to them to comfort them.<br />
<br />
I looked out the window, straining to see anything that might give me some clue as to what was going on. The last bit of land underneath us had disappeared not long before and the only things I could see were the wings of the plane, lit up by the plane's lights, and total darkness beyond. <br />
<br />
Mike kept trying to comfort me but wasn't sure how. <b>So he just held my hand and waited for the turbulence to end.</b><br />
<b></b><br />
After what seemed like an eternity, the pilot's voice came across the speaker. <br />
<br />
“Ladies and Gentlemen,”<br />
<b></b><br />
<b>I held my breath</b><br />
<b></b><br />
“We were warned that this was coming, but we climbed to a level that we thought was above it. It turns out that's not high enough. Unfortunately, we aren't able to fly above 39,000 feet and that is right where we are now. <b>We should be through this in about 20 minutes.”</b><br />
<b></b><br />
Exhale.<br />
<br />
20 minutes? I could do this for 20 minutes. The bumps were still the same, but I was calmer after that... and I'm fairly certain it wasn't just the wine I had recently chugged. I worked on eating what was left of my food and went back to my in-flight movie.<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: black; float: right; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin-bottom: 0.5em; margin-left: 1em; orphans: 2; padding-bottom: 6px; padding-left: 6px; padding-right: 6px; padding-top: 6px; text-align: right; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvfkiQzi72JyjKrPoJglWxhooEqs437KMskEzeX9If_INTAyG9FKLVFf7U6BCcxY_br8G-4wDRatBa0dKlwaQDDG_xdkXoAqUQE-jmtX-YWYJT2PmMmKqIJONPjfz9mxqHKQ1x0kSVmQ4/s1600/IMG_0205.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; clear: right; color: #0066cc; float: right; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; orphans: 2; text-align: center; text-decoration: underline; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1203" data-original-width="1600" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvfkiQzi72JyjKrPoJglWxhooEqs437KMskEzeX9If_INTAyG9FKLVFf7U6BCcxY_br8G-4wDRatBa0dKlwaQDDG_xdkXoAqUQE-jmtX-YWYJT2PmMmKqIJONPjfz9mxqHKQ1x0kSVmQ4/s200/IMG_0205.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 80%; padding-top: 4px; text-align: center;">At O'Hare, waiting for our flight out.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike><br />
(<b>My kids were fine, by the way</b>, when I checked on them later. They were laughing about the turbulence for the most part... although my oldest lamented some about the amount of wine she lost in the aisle of the plane.) <br />
<br />
In retrospect I realized what was different about the turbulence on this flight...<br />
<b></b><br />
<b>The pilot. </b><br />
<b></b><br />
When the turbulence started on the flight to L.A., the pilot came on almost immediately. He informed us that we were going to experience some turbulence for awhile and the flight attendants had been informed they must sit down and buckle up as well. <br />
<br />
<b>It's amazing how much it helps to have the words of someone who knows what the outcome is going to be... </b><br />
<b></b><br />
It's the same when life gets turbulent. The sooner we hear from the Pilot, the sooner we start to feel better. That's true even if the answer we get isn't the one that we want.<br />
<br />
In the moment, <b>I would have rather the pilot told us he's pulling up so we could fly above the turbulence, and we'd be out in a few minutes.</b> But, I had no idea what would happen if we flew above the approved 39,000 feet. Could we hit another plane? Would it be too cold for ours? Would the pressure be too much for our engines? In reality, it doesn't matter.<br />
<br />
<b>Sometimes all we get is, “There are reasons this won't change that you don't understand, trust Me.” <br /></b><br />
Would you accept that answer if a pilot said that to you? Of course!<br />
<br />
<i><b>How about when God says it to you?</b></i><br />
<i></i><b></b><br />
When I was getting upset on the plane, there was no way to talk to anyone in charge. I couldn't knock on the cockpit door and ask what was going on. I couldn't flag down a flight attendant to see if she had any insight. I just had to wait. <br />
<br />
In life though, I don't have to wait to hear from God. <br />
<br />
I often say out loud, “<b>It's You and me today. We've got this.</b>” and then I go about my day, trusting that God's got this and He'll let me know if I need to do something different. I always intend to start my morning with that thought, but often it takes something frustrating popping up to remind me.<br />
<br />
When I say it, I don't always get the answer I want or expect. Sometimes it's just a calmness that settles, and I know it's going to be okay.<br />
<br />
Try it, next time you need some direction.<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b></b><br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>It's You and me today, God. We've got this.</b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b></b><br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b></b><br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
KB Nelsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11154411653310835133noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5109662314868957528.post-34594771679578690832019-09-14T17:33:00.000-07:002019-09-14T17:35:12.735-07:00We're getting married...<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7fJyiRzHl4wlHtFBncgKFpyL23auYWOwM77N7QMRNCrLM7nKPPyvJATMWVq3whrcAx88U8dIRK06B4gAIoJS3LJLxqi1rWsW7vfKr2Exo_tIsRVabvrJuTT2pkhwjyu8CJiVPdyXjB5w/s1600/K%2526M.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="651" data-original-width="927" height="224" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7fJyiRzHl4wlHtFBncgKFpyL23auYWOwM77N7QMRNCrLM7nKPPyvJATMWVq3whrcAx88U8dIRK06B4gAIoJS3LJLxqi1rWsW7vfKr2Exo_tIsRVabvrJuTT2pkhwjyu8CJiVPdyXjB5w/s320/K%2526M.JPG" width="320" /></a>Depending on how long you've been reading this blog, and whether or not you follow me on social </div>
media, you may or may not know that I'm about to get married after 16 years of being single.<br />
<br />
God has blessed Mike and I in so many ways and we look forward to spending the rest of our lives growing closer to each other and God.<br />
<br />
I have so much more to say about that, but I just wanted to let people know first.<br />
<br />
I'll write more later... because there is so much more. God is so good... and always does things bigger and better than I can imagine they will be... Yes, I'm getting married to an amazing man. And, it's going to happen in Rome, Italy... on October 9, 2019.<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I don't know how long our wedding website will exist. So here is the link, but it may not be there if you are looking back a couple of years from now. So I'm sharing the information below as well.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br />
<br />
<a href="https://www.zola.com/wedding/mikeandkindall" target="_blank">Our Wedding Website</a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My favorite part of this site is that I get to tell everyone some of the story us...</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="entity-section-title homepage-section-title" style="text-align: center;">
<h2 class="section-title">
How We Met</h2>
<h4 class="section-subtitle">
TLDR: We Both Swiped Right (But really, read the rest!)</h4>
</div>
<div class="entity-section-description homepage-section-description-v2" style="text-align: center;">
Mike loves to see me squirm when people ask how we met... </div>
<div class="entity-section-description homepage-section-description-v2" style="text-align: center;">
so I'll just put it out there up front. lol. </div>
<div class="entity-section-description homepage-section-description-v2" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="entity-section-description homepage-section-description-v2" style="text-align: center;">
We met online. </div>
<div class="entity-section-description homepage-section-description-v2" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="entity-section-description homepage-section-description-v2" style="text-align: center;">
We talked for a week or so before he asked if I wanted to meet up. We met at Chick-Fil-A and chatted for about 45 minutes and then went our separate ways. </div>
<div class="entity-section-description homepage-section-description-v2" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="entity-section-description homepage-section-description-v2" style="text-align: center;">
Our first official date was 6 days later - at Kenny's Westside Pub to see the Central Illinois Jazz Train, followed by Open Mic night at Office on Main in Morton (to watch, not participate.)
As we were driving that night, I told him a story that involved having faith for healing and seeing it happen right away. As I was saying it I thought, "Oh man, he's probably going to drop me off at home and tell people about the crazy girl he took out." Instead, he responded with a similar story of his own. That was a pretty big sign for me. </div>
<div class="entity-section-description homepage-section-description-v2" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="entity-section-description homepage-section-description-v2" style="text-align: center;">
The dates after that all sort of run together because if one of us wasn't out of town, we were together. There was a lot of live music and a lot of laughter every time.</div>
<div class="entity-section-description homepage-section-description-v2" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="section-accent" style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="entity-section-title homepage-section-title" style="text-align: center;">
<h2 class="section-title">
The Proposal</h2>
<h4 class="section-subtitle">
He proposed twice...</h4>
</div>
<div class="entity-section-description homepage-section-description-v2" style="text-align: center;">
Mike doesn't really consider the first one a proposal, but I do. It was spontaneous and heartfelt. We were sitting in his car in the parking lot of his apartment building a couple of days before Christmas, and he turned to me and said, "So, how does a guy find out what kind of ring a woman wants without ruining the surprise?" </div>
<div class="entity-section-description homepage-section-description-v2" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="entity-section-description homepage-section-description-v2" style="text-align: center;">
I told him I'd send him an email with a link and he could open it next week or he could open it in six months... completely up to him. On Christmas Eve he downloaded the Zillow app and started looking for houses. </div>
<div class="entity-section-description homepage-section-description-v2" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="entity-section-description homepage-section-description-v2" style="text-align: center;">
That's when I knew he was serious. </div>
<div class="entity-section-description homepage-section-description-v2" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="entity-section-description homepage-section-description-v2" style="text-align: center;">
Fast forward to this summer... He saved up the money for a ring, but used it on the down payment for a house. Then he saved up the money for a ring again and this time used it to pay for his ticket to join us on Lauren's trip in October.
He told me hadn't done a formal proposal yet because he didn't have the ring yet. I told him the ring didn't matter and the how didn't matter... it was the why that was important. </div>
<div class="entity-section-description homepage-section-description-v2" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="entity-section-description homepage-section-description-v2" style="text-align: center;">
Then, for my birthday, he went out and got a "for now" ring, wrote Marry Me on my birthday cake in Icing, and stuck the ring in the frosting flower. </div>
<div class="entity-section-description homepage-section-description-v2" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="entity-section-description homepage-section-description-v2" style="text-align: center;">
I'm so used to being the one taking video at birthday parties that it didn't even click what was happening until someone said something about the cake. Once I saw it, he got down on one knee and proposed in his kitchen, with our kids and a few friends there. </div>
<div class="entity-section-description homepage-section-description-v2" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="entity-section-description homepage-section-description-v2" style="text-align: center;">
I said yes, by the way.</div>
<div class="entity-section-description homepage-section-description-v2" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="section-accent" style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="entity-section-title homepage-section-title" style="text-align: center;">
<h2 class="section-title">
God Winks</h2>
<h4 class="section-subtitle">
Before we even knew each other...</h4>
</div>
<div class="entity-section-description homepage-section-description-v2" style="text-align: center;">
When he friended me on FB between the time we met and our first date, I noticed we had no mutual friends. </div>
<div class="entity-section-description homepage-section-description-v2" style="text-align: center;">
Then he messaged me, "How do you know Pete Smith?" </div>
<div class="entity-section-description homepage-section-description-v2" style="text-align: center;">
"That's my dad. How do YOU know Pete Smith?" </div>
<div class="entity-section-description homepage-section-description-v2" style="text-align: center;">
"We worked together in the produce department at Hy-Vee in Macomb 15 years ago. He taught me how to juggle oranges." </div>
<div class="entity-section-description homepage-section-description-v2" style="text-align: center;">
"Yep. That's my dad!" (He taught me too!) </div>
<div class="entity-section-description homepage-section-description-v2" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="entity-section-description homepage-section-description-v2" style="text-align: center;">
But think about the chances of that... He worked with my dad NEARLY TWO HOURS AWAY from where we live... FIFTEEN YEARS before we met. </div>
<div class="entity-section-description homepage-section-description-v2" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="entity-section-description homepage-section-description-v2" style="text-align: center;">
~~~~~~~ </div>
<div class="entity-section-description homepage-section-description-v2" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="entity-section-description homepage-section-description-v2" style="text-align: center;">
For those of you who don't know, Mike is an insurance adjuster for a large insurance company. They employ 900+ people in the area. A few months in we realized that he had handled a claim of mine, four months before we met. He had no idea in February of 2018 that he was talking to his future wife, who he wouldn't meet until June... and I certainly didn't! But God knew. <3</div>
<div class="entity-section-description homepage-section-description-v2" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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KB Nelsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11154411653310835133noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5109662314868957528.post-26732252319350705742019-09-05T12:09:00.000-07:002019-09-05T13:35:57.165-07:00Connected dots<div style="text-align: left;">
I love the way God knows how to touch us individually. He doesn't just do good things and hope that <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgd_2sn9Mag1kGlN_U7YPT4jSZTXjMu4fLx-p62NzkQmCJ8XuxpAT00hgif2Mul0t1HmNzUwRff71qQ1Fq3ZKrejgmb3WgKDpm4SHv7mTmRTLvZskDGy0x6C1pRp3at_g9Mo320qFxfGZE/s1600/0801191515c.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="800" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgd_2sn9Mag1kGlN_U7YPT4jSZTXjMu4fLx-p62NzkQmCJ8XuxpAT00hgif2Mul0t1HmNzUwRff71qQ1Fq3ZKrejgmb3WgKDpm4SHv7mTmRTLvZskDGy0x6C1pRp3at_g9Mo320qFxfGZE/s200/0801191515c.jpg" width="100" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><div>
Lauren and me on</div>
<div>
a zoo visit.</div>
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we get that it was for us. He's like the parent who makes a special trip to the store to ensure the bows on a daughter's birthday gift are her favorite color. It's a parent's way of saying "I see you. I know you. I love you."<br />
<br />
With God there's so often that little touch, that special something that is Him saying, "I see you. I know you. I love you." <b>He wants me to know He is doing something for me, not just for somebody... but for me specifically. Not just a family, but MY family.</b> <br />
<br />
About 12 1/2 years ago, not long after Lauren was diagnosed with Hurler's Syndrome, I met an incredible network of people who are also parents of children with Hurler's and similar diseases. They became my best resource and source of hope on the days where I felt like the whole universe was against us.<br />
<br />
Not long after I found them, someone shared a beautiful poem/essay written by Emily Perl Kingsley called, "Welcome to Holland."<br />
<br />
Emily drew a beautiful metaphor: If having a baby was like planning a trip to Italy, where I read the guidebooks and learned some of the language and packed everything that I needed for the journey to Italy, then finding out I have a child with special needs is like the plane landing at the airport and having the flight attendants say, "Welcome to Holland."<br />
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And it's easy, and even natural, to be angry. Stomp your foot. Say, "I didn't want to go to Holland. I<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEji7UiUdUcxHa9M1Vud3_vwomd8mzkf5M9ZQcba11iOD0j6IXrdQpxKCoDjAiOYsMFlupjnZgz1HtQwTVKnX-9od_qFbH-YAKtmcOjTNWpkPJHM17GQFzChhxTG3lZ0h-D0NixJE-TCqgY/s1600/0317191323g_HDR.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEji7UiUdUcxHa9M1Vud3_vwomd8mzkf5M9ZQcba11iOD0j6IXrdQpxKCoDjAiOYsMFlupjnZgz1HtQwTVKnX-9od_qFbH-YAKtmcOjTNWpkPJHM17GQFzChhxTG3lZ0h-D0NixJE-TCqgY/s200/0317191323g_HDR.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Lauren and Ella, St Patrick's Day 2019</td></tr>
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wanted to go to Italy. I'm ready for Italy. I never planned for Holland...!" She talks about it being normal to grieve for Italy, but then points out that <b>if the only thing I focused on is the fact that I wasn't in Italy, I will miss out on all the beautiful things to see, right there in Holland</b>... windmills and tulips and Rembrandts... just to name a few.<br />
<br />
Emily had explained it so perfectly for me. Your perspective is what matters. Look around. Appreciate what you have. It applied to so many situations, that I have shared it with many, many people throughout the last 12 years. <br />
<br />
Early this year, when Lauren's Make A Wish wish-granters came to the house, I was surprised when she told them what her wish was. It wasn't anything that I had heard her say before. And I didn't immediately make any kind of connection. Only later, as I was sitting on my couch, contemplating things on my own, did I realize that <b>the daughter who brought me to the proverbial Holland, was now literally taking me to Italy.</b><br />
<b></b><br />
It's hard for me to share that without tearing up. <br />
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Now, don't get me wrong. I don't believe that God made Lauren choose Italy for me at all. But, as a <br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Norweigan Epic - Our Cruise Ship</td></tr>
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good friend once said, "God plays chess backwards." He knew that this is where we were going long before Lauren was even born. And, that Emily's essay would come to mean a lot to me over the years.<br />
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<b>In the making of this miracle, God said, "I've seen you. I've known you. I love you." </b></div>
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<b></b><br /></div>
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And, just so you know, I don't think I'm special. And by that I mean He does this for everybody... you just have to look for it.</div>
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<b>He sees you. He knows you. He loves you. </b></div>
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<b>And He delights in showing you, if you're willing to see it.</b></div>
<b></b><br />
My friend called it a game of chess, but <b>I see a page full of dots... thousands of seemingly random dots.</b> It might be years before some of the dots are connected, but when they finally are, the picture will take your breath away.</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiK1IEVpfl3XPUILVTujC_Jk6HsjLwnsu6uJ26Uofzt1nyRzvw-vXAvrPF0vZWuDyBvHHrg2qDBfvRRoofQ2v6xFsPOsLB0KL-oJK1fco0kd-4YQRDzKWxtqV2IIRGXundBQUxzKtf2A5U/s1600/rome.jpg" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: #0066cc; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: underline; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><img border="0" height="267" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiK1IEVpfl3XPUILVTujC_Jk6HsjLwnsu6uJ26Uofzt1nyRzvw-vXAvrPF0vZWuDyBvHHrg2qDBfvRRoofQ2v6xFsPOsLB0KL-oJK1fco0kd-4YQRDzKWxtqV2IIRGXundBQUxzKtf2A5U/s400/rome.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Rome, Italy</td></tr>
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<em>Are not two sparrows sold for a copper coin? And not one of them
falls to the ground apart from your Father’s will. But the very hairs of
your head are all numbered. Do not fear therefore; you are of more
value than many sparrows.”</em> <a class="rtBibleRef" data-purpose="bible-reference" data-reference="Matt 10.29-31" data-version="nkjv" href="https://biblia.com/bible/nkjv/Matt%2010.29-31">Matthew 10:29-31</a><br />
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KB Nelsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11154411653310835133noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5109662314868957528.post-22866556634418995022019-08-28T08:05:00.000-07:002019-08-28T08:14:07.295-07:00The Catch<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<i>I'm a little behind in posting. I actually started writing this a couple of weeks ago. I'll get caught up soon. I have so much to share...</i></div>
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<i></i><br />
<b>My sister posted this photo from her
wedding, and I love it!
</b></div>
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<b></b><br /></div>
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She is so happy and that
makes me happy. <br />
<br />
And what a memorable moment from the reception. It holds all the
joy and excitement one would expect to see in the bouquet toss. It was a fantastic capture!</div>
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<br /></div>
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But, what stood out to me when I first say it was the confidence I see on my face and in my stance. <b>There was no way I was fighting those girls for that bouquet!</b> Haha! But also, I didn't feel the need to.<br /><br />Traditionally, the woman who makes the catch of the bouquet at a wedding is believed to be the next one to walk down the aisle. The same goes for the man who catches the garter.</div>
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<br /></div>
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I've “caught” the bouquet before.
The man I was dating at the time “caught” the garter. (The bride
and groom gathered everyone and pretended they were going to throw
them, instead turning around and handing them to us.) </div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
The
“promise” of what was to come was exactly everything I thought I
was waiting for... so my life would finally be right again.<br />
<br />
I was a
struggling single mom with four little kids. <b>My dreams then included
being married, being happy, and maybe writing a book one day.</b> I don't
know what I thought I'd write about... although, to be fair, I had a
lot more time to write a book then. (Now I have plenty to write about and
no time to do it!)</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
That relationship falling apart was the
first of several traumatic incidents that led me towards my rock bottom.
I blamed him for kicking off that spiral for a long time. <br />
<br />
I
was angry I had to start over after four years.
</div>
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I didn't want to start over at all.
</div>
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<b></b><br /></div>
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<b>I wanted to be married so I could be
happy again</b>... and previously co-dependent me knew I would be a great wife because I would be whatever he wanted me to be. </div>
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<br /></div>
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That's the perfect wife, right? </div>
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<br /></div>
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Except, <i>remember all the times here I've written about how stubborn I am?</i><br />
<br />
Today I know that the stubborn part of my personality is an important part of who I am. I wonder how long I could have been someone's "perfect wife" before it started causing problems.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Honestly, today it amazes me to know how clueless I was back then. <b>I thought so poorly of myself and expected someone else to
see something different and convince me I was better. </b></div>
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<b></b><br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Oddly enough, that's exactly what happened... only it was God that saw different and convinced me I was better. </div>
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<br />
I wanted someone to complete me.
</div>
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<br /></div>
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<b>God showed me I was already complete.
</b></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b></b><br />
It turned out, there was no "perfect other half" out there waiting for me to complete them either. I found an imperfect whole... and we're working to mesh our lives together. We don't complete each other so much as we compliment each other. </div>
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<br /></div>
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It hasn't been easy. It hasn't been "perfect." But <b>thank God Mike is a whole person, and not expecting </b></div>
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<b>me to complete him.</b> Who has time for that!?! <br />
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Don't get me wrong, if the flowers had
come my way at my sister's wedding, I would have caught them with joy. But I
didn't <i><b>need</b></i> to catch them that day... </div>
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<br /></div>
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The hardest part about writing this post is that <b>I desperately want this knowledge I've gained to help someone else.</b> Unfortunately, I've been where they are and I don't know that anything would have helped me see this before I finally "got it." </div>
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<br /></div>
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Still, I keep typing and retyping this, asking the Holy Spirit for the right words, hoping the right combinations will be a catalyst for someone's breakthrough. </div>
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You are complete. You just have to know it. <b>Stop walking with your head down, hoping people don't notice all your imperfections and start meeting their gaze.... daring them to find out how awesome you are. If they don't see it, move on.</b><br />
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You deserve to be treated well. You deserve to have your voice heard. <b>You deserve to know that you are a whole person right now, this minute, whether you are in a romantic relationship or not.</b></div>
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<b></b><br /></div>
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You have been blessed with every spiritual blessing. You have the power of life and death in your tongue. You were chosen by God before creation. <b>You are amazing. </b></div>
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<b><br /></b></div>
<b>The catch is, you have to know it for people to see it... how do learn it if you don't already know? Ask the One who created you... </b><i></i><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="text Eph-1-3-Eph-1-6"><i><b><br /></b></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="text Eph-1-3-Eph-1-6"><i><b><br /></b></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="text Eph-1-3-Eph-1-6"><i><b>Long before (God) laid down earth’s
foundations, </b></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="text Eph-1-3-Eph-1-6"><i><b>he had us in mind, had settled on us as the focus of his
love, </b></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="text Eph-1-3-Eph-1-6"><i><b>to be made whole and holy by his love.</b></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="text Eph-1-3-Eph-1-6"><i><b>Ephesians 1:4 (Msg)</b></i></span></div>
<b></b><br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;">
<i></i><b></b><b></b><br /></div>
KB Nelsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11154411653310835133noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5109662314868957528.post-17017184322741831352019-05-29T20:24:00.001-07:002019-05-29T20:55:59.320-07:00She's legit<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivlUW94Va7NZKEiCytSUXSCK5L79XG1op_EzvDFFfXb9eKaNKD5wtZLgGREa3mdiB18APgUB9DZFikxUso4B_TYngPXbCYli7za_NEp-jjftmu5RcO050CHmbX_uMnw-wDEVVPwkBI1aA/s1600/lovealways-black.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivlUW94Va7NZKEiCytSUXSCK5L79XG1op_EzvDFFfXb9eKaNKD5wtZLgGREa3mdiB18APgUB9DZFikxUso4B_TYngPXbCYli7za_NEp-jjftmu5RcO050CHmbX_uMnw-wDEVVPwkBI1aA/s320/lovealways-black.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Standing in front of the small group of people I'd never met before, stumbling over my words, glancing at my notes again and again, I thought, "Man, I am really butchering this. These people don't know me. They probably think I'm crazy."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I searched their faces as I spoke, looking for signs they could hear my heart in the words that I shared, but I couldn't be sure.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">What I am sure of is this: the violence that seems to be overtaking our community is not just rattling, it's heartbreaking. Too many of us who don't deal with it daily will see it on the news, wish there was something we could do to help, and forget a few minutes later. Not because we don't care, but because we don't know what we can do. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">"Nobody has the answer to this." I heard someone say the other day. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I wanted to reply, "We all do. Love is the answer. Relationship is the answer. Choosing peace is the answer." But I didn't. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Words aren't enough. We have to put them into action. This Peace Rally I was introducing to the group is where I feel God leading me towards action. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">My pastor often says, "Hurt people hurt people." He's right. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">The violence happening in our city is the result of a whole lot of hurting people for a whole lot of reasons. Love is the one thing that can fix this. It's the only thing.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Still talking, I looked at the clock, realizing how many points I had wanted to make and still missed while running well over the few minutes I intended to share. A little discouraged, but trying not to show it, I said "Does anybody have any questions?"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">There were a couple.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Then, one guy in the back raised his hand.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I expected him to address me, but instead he addressed everybody else.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">He said that he had seen my work before on other projects I've been apart of, naming one... and assuring them all this was something they should feel comfortable getting behind. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br />He finished with, "She's legit."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I was shocked for a second. Those words hung in the air.<br />She's legit.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I breathed a sigh of relief. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">God was saying, "<i>Stop worrying, Kindall. I've got your back.</i>" </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Short of turning around and running the other way, I can't screw it up as long as I remember He's the One who led me to this spot I'm standing in the first place.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I've been told for years that God doesn't call the equipped, He equips the called. But it's so easy to forget that in the moment when you hear that little whisper... often so quiet you think it must be coming from inside you... "<i>You can't do this.</i>"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">It took me a long time to learn the truth about who God says I am so I could talk back to that voice. Now I can say,<i> "Oh yeah? Watch me."</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">So thankful tonight for the love and grace that empower me to say that.<i> </i> </span><br />
<br />
<b></b><i></i><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; border-collapse: collapse; border-spacing: 0px 0px; color: #111111; display: inline; float: none; font-variant: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 23.94px; list-style: none; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: pre-wrap; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><i>And so we know and rely on </i>
<i>the love God has for us. </i></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><i><b>God is love. </b></i></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><i><b>Whoever lives in love </b></i>
<i><b>lives in God, and God in them.</b></i></span></span><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><i>1 John 4:16</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"></span><i></i><br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><i><b>Greater is He who lives in me, than he who is in the world.</b></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><i>1 John 4:4</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><i>Find more information about the planned #LovePeoria Peace Rally here: </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><i><a href="http://bit.ly/peacerallydraft" target="_blank">bit.ly/peacerallydraft</a></i></span></div>
KB Nelsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11154411653310835133noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5109662314868957528.post-52006586226646895712019-02-22T09:19:00.002-08:002019-02-22T12:03:54.662-08:00Friend<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIQtPOGs0fgwZhTAyIupCec26enDodjMMHpPM2i5_MFzs459MWfXZNGykSTob7Ao19wcruITb9x3vrihDbk9umhSSPA1ysG07cEg9bw6Fh0llXsnjJ9vQceAwwdCTSNHbZpZAQj5dlDLs/s1600/0221191827a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1588" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIQtPOGs0fgwZhTAyIupCec26enDodjMMHpPM2i5_MFzs459MWfXZNGykSTob7Ao19wcruITb9x3vrihDbk9umhSSPA1ysG07cEg9bw6Fh0llXsnjJ9vQceAwwdCTSNHbZpZAQj5dlDLs/s200/0221191827a.jpg" width="198" /></span></a></div>
<div>
<b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It was strange seeing the marker board at the hospital yesterday. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">My name, phone number, and under 'relationship', the word, FRIEND.</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"></span><b></b><br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Now, I understand the practicality of it. I'm his daughter's mom. If something happens, I need to know. But the fact that this person who expends more energy hating me than doing any other thing has a sign in his room with the word "friend" next to my name was a good kind of weird. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b><br />I prayed it was prophetic.</b></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"></span><b></b><br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">While I don't expect to ever be meeting him out for coffee and chatting about our day like I would with other friends, I can't help but want good things for him. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"></span><br /></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg94t04lp_jUPn7LcdYdQw29erIW7rEse0Zhtm2g2nwBBZ49dkD6YnOR8lte7OoUtSrUTy4QilJ4j1NGY0_1Ca0scjkSBHFqVYkJVh5quWggF4RU8xXLlJ399iYouNuygdqGk4E0qGVjdY/s1600/0120191618h.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1150" data-original-width="1600" height="230" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg94t04lp_jUPn7LcdYdQw29erIW7rEse0Zhtm2g2nwBBZ49dkD6YnOR8lte7OoUtSrUTy4QilJ4j1NGY0_1Ca0scjkSBHFqVYkJVh5quWggF4RU8xXLlJ399iYouNuygdqGk4E0qGVjdY/s320/0120191618h.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Lauren adores him. If there is no other reason in the world, that one is enough. The joy she had when we both attended her musical last month and sat at the same table at an after-party was obvious. We even got pictures of the three of us.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"></span><br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There are plenty of other reasons, too. <b>I believe God creates everyone with something to offer the world.</b> What we do with what we've been given is our own choice. But, if you don't understand the loving nature of God and the grace He's given you, making the right choice can be difficult.<br /><br />Hurt people hurt people. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"></span><br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I wrote once about <a href="https://promiseafterpromise.blogspot.com/2018/01/collateral-damage.html" target="_blank">collateral damage</a> in dealing with other people. I said, "<b>you can't yell at a drowning man for splashing water on you while trying to figure out how to save himself.</b>" </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br />Sometimes though, that drowning man has convinced himself that if he throws enough water on you, the ocean will be shallow enough for him to stand. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>I fought that water for years.</b> It took a long time, but eventually I learned that as long as I'm in the boat, the water can't really hurt me. It's just water. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>The grace that taught me that, also taught me forgiveness. </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Forgiveness is a powerful thing.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">
</span>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">
<div>
I hope someday he'll see what a friend I really am and how much love, compassion, and confidence in God's grace it takes to stand at the bedside of someone who viciously blames you for everything that is wrong with their life in new and shocking ways on a regular basis, and offer to pray for them.</div>
</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>For his sake and Lauren's both, I hope it happens soon.</b><br />I would very much love to one day not think twice about being referred to as his friend.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><b><sup><span style="color: #111111;">12</span></sup><span style="background-color: transparent; border-collapse: collapse; border-spacing: 0px 0px; color: #111111; display: inline; float: none; font-family: "segoe ui" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-variant: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 23.94px; list-style: none; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: pre-wrap; word-spacing: 0px;">My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.
</span><sup style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: transparent; bottom: 4px; color: #111111; font-size: 12.46px; font-variant: normal; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; position: relative; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; word-spacing: 0px;">13</sup><span style="background-color: transparent; border-collapse: collapse; border-spacing: 0px 0px; color: #111111; display: inline; float: none; font-family: "segoe ui" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-variant: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 23.94px; list-style: none; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: pre-wrap; word-spacing: 0px;">Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends.
</span><sup style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: transparent; bottom: 4px; color: #111111; font-size: 12.46px; font-variant: normal; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; position: relative; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; word-spacing: 0px;">14</sup><span style="background-color: transparent; border-collapse: collapse; border-spacing: 0px 0px; color: #111111; display: inline; float: none; font-family: "segoe ui" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-variant: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 23.94px; list-style: none; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: pre-wrap; word-spacing: 0px;">You are my friends if you do what I command.
</span><sup style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: transparent; bottom: 4px; color: #111111; font-size: 12.46px; font-variant: normal; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; position: relative; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; word-spacing: 0px;">15</sup><span style="background-color: transparent; border-collapse: collapse; border-spacing: 0px 0px; color: #111111; display: inline; float: none; font-family: "segoe ui" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-variant: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 23.94px; list-style: none; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: pre-wrap; word-spacing: 0px;">I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.
John 15:12-15
</span></b></i></div>
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<i></i><i></i><i></i><b></b><br /></div>
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KB Nelsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11154411653310835133noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5109662314868957528.post-12254510766249302092019-02-19T12:02:00.001-08:002019-02-19T12:02:14.680-08:00Fifteen dollars an hour<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>I've been arguing against raising minimum wage in Illinois for weeks. </b>I've tried again and again to explain that this measure would be no more helpful than printing money to pay off national debts. I tried to explain it from all angles... and while it seems like most people understand and agree, nothing slowed down our governor's rush to sign the bill.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"></span><b></b><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>When I got the notification today that the news station was going live to watch the bill being signed in that moment, my heart sunk.</b> For a split second, I even felt a little sick.<br /><br /><b>Then I heard it...</b> that still small voice inside myself. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">"Why are you upset? Who is your provider? <b>Do you think He didn't know this was going to happen?</b> Do you think God is sitting there with His head in His hands trying to figure out what to do now that Pritzker ruined His plans to not only provide for you, but to prosper you?" </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Of course not!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>I keep trying to imagine that and laugh.</b> In fact, if God had made me an artist instead of a writer, that's the picture I'd be drawing for people right now... A Mosaic-Charlton Heston-looking-God, sitting on a big white and gray marble throne with his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands. And a caption that reads, "Dang it Pritzger… NOW what am I going to do!?!"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiToTR9mVl_hAAmk5SbX6emJfupB55MzEHZjR28ZYYn6cC5pcmubJ7f2pDypl_htiwjKRcx22qDIrxoEV5HSJSqbuSRCExsJUkIKOabHEZSBk6gXAaeXl70hVB2tjjB1t1XPSZdT9TKsL4/s1600/Jesus-facepalm.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="599" data-original-width="900" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiToTR9mVl_hAAmk5SbX6emJfupB55MzEHZjR28ZYYn6cC5pcmubJ7f2pDypl_htiwjKRcx22qDIrxoEV5HSJSqbuSRCExsJUkIKOabHEZSBk6gXAaeXl70hVB2tjjB1t1XPSZdT9TKsL4/s320/Jesus-facepalm.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;" /><div>
<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: transparent; color: black; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">(I can't draw a straight line with a ruler... so I grabbed </span></div>
<div>
<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: transparent; color: black; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">this Facepalming Jesus from the internet... </span></div>
<div>
<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: transparent; color: black; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">because it makes me laugh just as much.)</span><b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike></div>
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</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">It is silly, isn't it... the way we get so caught up in ourselves, forgetting what God has promised us? Forgetting who He is and who He says we are?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br />Don't get me wrong here... I don't know what's going to happen. I don't know if people will pay the rates I'll have to charge in the future. <b>I don't know if my businesses will succeed or fail. </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"></span><b></b><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">There are a lot of things I don't know.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"></span><b></b><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>I do know that I will be okay,</b> despite the fears that often overtake me. I do know God has promised to take care of me, regardless of what's going on in the world. I do know that sometimes even I'm surprised by how He does it, and that it often turns into an encouraging story of faith that I can share with others.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"></span><b></b><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>So, I'm going to thank God for all He has done and all He will do... and stop complaining</b> about how this will impact small businesses, including mine. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">The time to fight to keep it from happening has passed. Now I'll shine on in spite of it.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><i>Light shines in the darkness, and the </i></b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><i>darkness has not (and can not) overcome it.</i></b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><i>John 1:5</i></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><b></b><i></i><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: transparent; color: #001320; display: inline !important; float: none; font-size: 16px; font-variant: normal; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: justify; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><i>For I know the plans I have for you</i></span></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: transparent; color: #001320; display: inline !important; float: none; font-size: 16px; font-variant: normal; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: justify; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><i>declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you </i></span></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><b><i><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: transparent; color: #001320; display: inline !important; float: none; font-size: 16px; font-variant: normal; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: justify; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.</span> </span></i></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><i>Jeremiah 29:11</i></b></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"></span><b></b><i></i><b></b><i></i><b></b><i></i><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span><br />KB Nelsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11154411653310835133noreply@blogger.com1